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A pugnacious princess from a dimension of ghouls gets banished to Earth for her constant mayhem to live with a cowardly nerd she protects.
Good observations by the others.? And Richiev's suggested logline points to what I think is a principal problem, the lack of a plot with a character arc.? In the original logline, she's cast down to earth and then what follows seems to be episodic:? Protect the nerd.? Reboot in the next episode.? PrRead more
Good observations by the others.? And Richiev’s suggested logline points to what I think is a principal problem, the lack of a plot with a character arc.? In the original logline, she’s cast down to earth and then what follows seems to be episodic:? Protect the nerd.? Reboot in the next episode.? Protect the nerd again. Reboot, protect the nerd again.? It seems like she’s trapped in an endless “Groundhog Day” loop the difference being to no ultimate, overarching thematic purpose.
Well, isn’t that the way “The Simpsons” series works?? Nobody learns anything that sticks from one episode to the next and that hasn’t deterred it from being the most popular and long running animation series in TV history.? But “The Simpsons” is a comedy series–that’s standard issue for the genre? — and it’s hook is that it is also social satire.
See lesspossible rom-com title “sunburn”
It' s an interesting idea, but as Richiev notes,? it needs a clear conflict.? What dramatic problem is created by this situation?? What conflict, what struggle ensues as a result of the relationship? And as Brandon8719 asked, what is the hook that differentiates this from the "Twilight" series withRead more
It’ s an interesting idea, but as Richiev notes,? it needs a clear conflict.? What dramatic problem is created by this situation?? What conflict, what struggle ensues as a result of the relationship?
And as Brandon8719 asked, what is the hook that differentiates this from the “Twilight” series with which it will be immediately compared?
See lessAfter years of isolation, an egotistic ex-cop makes his nostalgic return to re-unite with his daughter but not until he goes to war with a mob of ex-convicts.
Foxtrot25 has some interesting ideas and his suggested logline is an artful finesse of a fundamental weakness in the original logline.A logline is a brief statement summarizing a plot.? A plot entails a protagonist pursuing an objective goal despite obstacles and adversities.? What the protagonist wRead more
Foxtrot25 has some interesting ideas and his suggested logline is an artful finesse of a fundamental weakness in the original logline.
A logline is a brief statement summarizing a plot.? A plot entails a protagonist pursuing an objective goal despite obstacles and adversities.? What the protagonist wants and pursues is called the spine of the story.? It’s called the spine because just as in real spines in vertebrate animals, everything in the body of the story is organized around, connected to and hangs on it.
In vertebrates there can only be one spine for the animal to function properly.? Likewise in a plot, there can be only one spine for the plot to function properly.? So what is the spine in this logline?? ?Because taken at face value, the logline seems to suggests two objective goals for the protagonist: reunite with his daughter and take out the mob of ex-cons.? And, to repeat, a plot (and a logline summarizing it) can only have one spine,? the pursuit of one objective goal.
What is the singular vector of action? around which everything else is organized and hangs on?? A father trying to reunite with his daughter?? Or an ex-cop fighting to take down some ex-cons?? Whichever one it is, the logline should be unambiguously framed in terms of that spine.
If the father’s objective goal is to reunite with his daughter, then the ex-cons are an untimely and life-threatening complication.? If the ex-cop’s objective goal is take out the ex-cons, then the daughter coming back into his life is a distracting complication, one that puts her life in jeopardy as well.
And then there’s the character flaw. A character flaw should be a subjective problem that is congruently related to the objective goal such that he cannot achieve his goal until he resolves his subjective problem. If he fails to overcome his flaw then he will fail to achieve his goal.? I kind of see how “egotism” would be a character flaw if his objective goal — the spine of the story — is to reunite with his daughter.? But I don’t see how it is congruently relevant if his objective goal is to take out the ex-cons.
fwiw.
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