>>>interpreting clues provided to him by friends he meets who are constantly on their cell phones.

Hmm.? Seems like knock-off of the CBS series “Wisdom of the Crowd” which was a knock-off an Israeli TV series.? Which might actually make it a more enticing series because networks have no shame or hesitation to clone a successful series. (Which is why CBS cloned the Israeli series, right? Not to mention all the knock-offs of British TV series.)?

Alas the CBS knock-off didn’t flourish in the ratings and then Jeremy Piven gave the network executives a reason pull the plug sooner rather than later.? So there’s that.

The other hook is that he’s operating out of an “an illegal RV” which I take to mean he’s operating/living out of an illegally parked RV, one he has to keep moving to keep from having the RV impounded.? Which by itself could be the source of a running gag.

Having to live/work out of an illegally parked RV is certainly relevant to the current housing crisis in California where most of the US television and film industry is still concentrated.? ?A crisis of too few units and too high rents and sale prices that has forced thousands of middle and lower class families into RV’s.? ?So there’s that as a positive — a timely news hook.

As for being able to solve crimes while stoned , Sherlock Holmes puzzled out cases while indulging in his 7% solution — injecting cocaine.? Ergo the pitch proper and the pilot episode might benefit by citing? Holmes’ addiction.

So I think the premise has potential.? But the logline and premise need a polish.

fwiw

The wording is clumsy so it’s not clear to me what the story is about,? Suffice it to say that the hook of the story is the disorder.? And the character who owns the hook would seem to make for a more interesting protagonist than the girl.? ?So perhaps the logline and plot should be recast/reframed with him in that role.

Also,? the logline lacks for a clearly defined objective goal that arises as a result of — or in spite of — the disorder.? Taking the logline in its current wording,? “come in terms” makes no sense. And “fully losing sight of who she is” is amorphous, too vague — and too subjective –? to qualify as an objective goal.

Also, the disorder is not generally known so it can’t be just thrown out there in a logline with the expectation that readers will understand what the problem is.? Or that readers will take the time to google for information.? Readers are fast and furious when it comes to loglines; they are too impatient, to busy to slow down, detour their attention to a web search.

Also Depersonalization Disorder (DD) is an intensely internal, profoundly subjective experience.? But film is a visual medium? How can an internal experience like DD be graphically externalized for the sake of film?

fwiw