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When a reserved accountant is condemned, he needs fight the corrupt prison system to prove his innocene or serve a life sentence.
A worthy movie to write a logline for.My? take:When a reserved accountant is wrongly given a life sentence for his wife's murder, he must fight a corrupt prison system to stay alive while plotting his escape.(28 words)I left out "prove his innocence" because it's a running joke in the movie that eveRead more
A worthy movie to write a logline for.
My? take:
When a reserved accountant is wrongly given a life sentence for his wife’s murder, he must fight a corrupt prison system to stay alive while plotting his escape.
(28 words)
I left out “prove his innocence” because it’s a running joke in the movie that everyone is innocent — IOW:? no matter what they say, they’re all guilty.? He has no opportunity, no hope of proving his innocence until the young kid arrives — which is much later, deep into the? 2nd Act.? So initially it’s not a factor as an objective goal that motivates the plot.
On the other hand, (as we see in retrospect) he quickly, patiently goes to work on his escape plan (which takes years to execute).
See lessA mother provides a fantasy world for her son to escape their domestic abuse. This illusion ultimately exacerbates the violence and leads to their demise
The logline gives away the ending; that's a spoiler, something a logline should never have. Also, it's a bummer ending -- a tough sell.
The logline gives away the ending; that’s a spoiler, something a logline should never have.
Also, it’s a bummer ending — a tough sell.
See lessWhen a black high school football star mysteriously disappears, his four daring friends and their dog set out to find him, unraveling the dark and sinister secrets of their town.
>>> Four daring friendsBetter to narrow it down, tag one character as the protagonist. He (or she) can have allies who help, but it is better if the logline designates one alpha character,? a first among equals, who organizes and leads the search party.>>> and their dogOkay in theRead more
>>> Four daring friends
Better to narrow it down, tag one character as the protagonist. He (or she) can have allies who help, but it is better if the logline designates one alpha character,? a first among equals, who organizes and leads the search party.
>>> and their dog
Okay in the script, but unnecessary in the logline.
>>>>unraveling the dark and sinister secrets of their town.
“Dark and sinister” –redundant: pick one.
Also, frame “secrets” directly in terms of an obstacle to be overcome, not a discovery made.? That is, unraveling dark secrets are not coincidental discoveries in their search; rather, they are the obstacles and dangers they must overcome to achieve the objective goal.
fwiw
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