1. Posted: November 13, 2017In:

    When a devoted wife attends her high school reunion alone, a former classmate’s misspoken phrase triggers her alter ego as an elite assassin. Her husband/handler must intervene or there won’t be another reunion.

    dpg Singularity

    I think the logline should be framed and focused around the hook, the attention grabber.? ?And the person in the driver's seat of the story.The hook is what the? wife does, not the husband.? And she is clearly in the driver's seat of the story.? If she doesn't go into assassination mode, then the huRead more

    I think the logline should be framed and focused around the hook, the attention grabber.? ?And the person in the driver’s seat of the story.

    The hook is what the? wife does, not the husband.? And she is clearly in the driver’s seat of the story.? If she doesn’t go into assassination mode, then the husband has nothing to do (of dramatic interest).? There no story, no film.

    What the wife does is the sizzle that? sells the concept.? Not what the husband does.

    fwiw

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: November 13, 2017In:

    A lonely computer programmer, looking for Mr. Right, is shut down by the government for creating an empathetic AI, so she tries something unorthodox?interacting with a human.

    dpg Singularity

    If she wrote the code, she can just reconstitute the AI from scratch or do so from a backup copy of the source code. The only way they can shut her down completely is to imprison her and deny her all access to computers.? And if they do that, she certainly won't have the freedom to pursue the secondRead more

    If she wrote the code, she can just reconstitute the AI from scratch or do so from a backup copy of the source code. The only way they can shut her down completely is to imprison her and deny her all access to computers.? And if they do that, she certainly won’t have the freedom to pursue the second plot thread.

    The whole logline doesn’t make sense.

    And IMHO, the logline selects the less interesting plot thread to pursue.? The story hook is that she coded an empathetic AI.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: November 12, 2017In:

    After leaving his tiny home village, A lonely man returns many years later to win back his childhood sweetheart only to find out she never existed.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    >>>only to find out she never existed.Is that the end of the story or the beginning?? If the beginning, what becomes his objective goal as a result? And who or what opposes him?If it's the end, it's a spoiler. And a logline should not have a spoiler, should not reveal how the film ends.

    >>>only to find out she never existed.

    Is that the end of the story or the beginning?? If the beginning, what becomes his objective goal as a result? And who or what opposes him?

    If it’s the end, it’s a spoiler. And a logline should not have a spoiler, should not reveal how the film ends.

    See less
    • 0