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  1. Posted: October 24, 2017In: Thriller

    A mother to two clone children plans for more clone children, but she must make the world a place where they can survive, so she unleashes her ability to kill using only her brain, founding a world of potent and fertile.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 26, 2017 at 12:45 am

    As the others have said.? And the logline gives her such god-like powers, what is there to worry about?? Where's the suspense?Which is to say, who is her antagonist?? Who is capable to defeating her?? That is very important.? She needs a worthy adversary -- somebody who poses a credible threat to heRead more

    As the others have said.? And the logline gives her such god-like powers, what is there to worry about?? Where’s the suspense?

    Which is to say, who is her antagonist?? Who is capable to defeating her?? That is very important.? She needs a worthy adversary — somebody who poses a credible threat to her objective goal?

    Who wants to defeat her?? (In the original “Star Wars” episode , Luke Skywalker has a very real threat,? a very powerful nemesis in the character of Darth Vader.? And Mr. Vader is very, very motivated: he MUST defeat Luke.)

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  2. Posted: October 24, 2017In: Adventure

    Novel: A french teenager runs away to fulfill his dream of becoming an actor in L.A.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 26, 2017 at 12:37 am

    Despite the fact that the American film industry is becoming decentralized, Hollywood remains an irresistible magnet for hordes of young people who want to break into the business.? And that's the problem with this logline.? There's nothing that makes the teenager stand out from the horde.? Being frRead more

    Despite the fact that the American film industry is becoming decentralized, Hollywood remains an irresistible magnet for hordes of young people who want to break into the business.? And that’s the problem with this logline.? There’s nothing that makes the teenager stand out from the horde.? Being from France is not enough and it begs the question: since he’s French, why doesn’t he try to break into the French film industry?? Why MUST he come to the United States?

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  3. Posted: October 24, 2017In: Examples

    When androids of a wild west theme park start gaining conscience, the scientist behind the show must overcome the senior manager’s intention to shut down the current program.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 24, 2017 at 12:28 pm

    What matters is?the hook in the concept: an amusement park where adults indulge their violent and sexual fantasies with actors who are robots.? No harm, no fouls... until. It's a reboot of Michael Crichton's movie.? Which means the concept was "pre-sold".? And it was developed by industry insiders -Read more

    What matters is?the hook in the concept: an amusement park where adults indulge their violent and sexual fantasies with actors who are robots.? No harm, no fouls… until.

    It’s a reboot of Michael Crichton’s movie.? Which means the concept was “pre-sold”.? And it was developed by industry insiders — not outsiders with no agent, no contacts, no established record.? Ergo, no logline was necessary.

    If it was an original concept, the creation of a total outsider, then, yes, it would require a logline for a script for the pilot episode.? But as I haven’t seen the 1st season (yet), I can’t expatiate on how the pilot episode rebooted version 2.0 of the story concept.

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