1. Posted: April 13, 2020In:

    An emotionally-stunted, apathetic playboy learns to grieve his father’s death and appreciate life from a terminally ill woman, who loves life.

    dpg Singularity

    thedarkhorse:As usual, you raise some interesting questions.Actually, I'm not fanatical that a logline can never, ever, not? now in this universe, not ever in a parallel universe? focus on a subjective throughline.? However, that it is the general rule.? And I believe that when a logline breaks thatRead more

    thedarkhorse:

    As usual, you raise some interesting questions.

    Actually, I’m not fanatical that a logline can never, ever, not? now in this universe, not ever in a parallel universe? focus on a subjective throughline.? However, that it is the general rule.? And I believe that when a logline breaks that rule, it has to have a damn good reason,.

    And that damn good reason is:? it’s got a great story hook.

    The great story hook for Harold and Maude, the feature that made the film so popular and beloved,? was the relationship between an utterly repressed, morbid? 19 year old and a free-spirited , life affirming 79 year old woman.? Not just the contrasting temperaments, but the age gap, 60 years.? (The film is an outlier to the general rule, an original, unique reflection of the zeitgeist of that wild and crazy time.)

    But as you said about the premise in your logline., “I can’t say it’s original”

    Exactly.? You made my point.

    Gotta have hook.

    That’s my mantra, my motto, my credo.

    In “Groundhog Day” Phil’s original goal is, of course, to get out of the time loop, out of town.? But when he can’t, his objective goal turns to bedding Rita.? He starts to hit on her in the 43rd minute of the film and that goal is the organizing action line for the rest of the film.

    But there is nothing original about a guy trying to bed a gal. Zero, zed, nada, null.? By itself that objective goal couldn’t sell the script, green light the movie.

    What is original is the situation: he’s trapped in a time loop, living the same day over and over and over. Until he gets it right.

    That’s the story hook.? And that’s what got the movie made.

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  2. Posted: April 15, 2020In:

    A story based on the life of Marek Edelman, the last leader of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising: When the Nazis set up the ghetto, orphaned Jewish errand boy decides to stay with his beloved and print the underground press, but when the Nazis start liquidating the ghetto, he saves his comrades, becoming the last leader of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

    dpg Singularity

    Nicolasj:It is not critical to lay out the character arc in a logline.? Although the character arc can be suggested by one or two adjectives describing a character flaw.It is more important to describe the basic plot.? In the case of your script. where are you beginning the story of Marek Edelman??Read more

    Nicolasj:

    It is not critical to lay out the character arc in a logline.? Although the character arc can be suggested by one or two adjectives describing a character flaw.

    It is more important to describe the basic plot.? In the case of your script. where are you beginning the story of Marek Edelman?? When the occupying Germans herded Jews into the confines of? Warsaw ghetto in November, 1940?? Earlier?? Later?? What is the inciting incident that sets the plot in motion?

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  3. Posted: April 14, 2020In:

    When a Barrister with early-onset Alzheimers obtains a mysterious brief, he must use a unique legal exemption to convince a Court to set aside his own client?s acquittal.

    dpg Singularity

    How about something like:Staring down early-onset Alzheimer's, a barrister struggles to clear his conscience with a clever legal maneuver to reverse the acquittal that made him famous.(24 words)Not exactly the outline of the plot.? And slightly dumbed down for laymen.? Because you'll be pitching theRead more

    How about something like:

    Staring down early-onset Alzheimer’s, a barrister struggles to clear his conscience with a clever legal maneuver to reverse the acquittal that made him famous.

    (24 words)

    Not exactly the outline of the plot.? And slightly dumbed down for laymen.? Because you’ll be pitching the story to mere laymen unlettered in the mysteries of the law.? And the story hook should not get lost in the weeds of legal details.

    My version also assays to aim the spotlight on the stakes. He must clear his conscience while he can. And it’s not just any old acquittal he wants to reverse. It must be in the case that made his reputation.? (And perhaps an innocent man’s life is also at stake but that’s unclear to me as I have no idea what legal time bomb is? ticking away in the mysterious brief.)

    Like Detective Edmund Exley in the movie “L.A. Confidential” who MUST as a matter of conscience tear down with a wrecking ball the case that made his career, his reputation.

    fwiw

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