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  1. Posted: September 30, 2017In: Drama

    When an Iwi investor whanagungatanga is threatened, he must relinquish his fears at a maximum personal cost and risk to encounter a spiritual revelation that awakens his true identity in God.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 2, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Who is the target audience for watching the movie?? And who is the target market for making the movie?The odds of getting any script made into a film are formidable? enough-- 1000's to 1.? Don't make them even longer by using terms that most people won't understand. "Iwi investor", "Ti kanga Maori"Read more

    Who is the target audience for watching the movie?? And who is the target market for making the movie?

    The odds of getting any script made into a film are formidable? enough– 1000’s to 1.? Don’t make them even longer by using terms that most people won’t understand. “Iwi investor”, “Ti kanga Maori” , “whanagungatanga” — I doubt that 1 in a 1000 people who have any idea what those terms mean.? And if they’re movie makers — agents, directors, producers, they aren’t going to bother to google to find out.? They’ll just move on to the next logline.? Which means the odds against the script can be multiplied by an additional factor of a 1000, rendering the script practically DOA.

    The logline should be written in terms that are understandable to the broadest range of people in the business of making movies.? Just saying.

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  2. Posted: October 1, 2017In: Drama

    When a young party-girl?s father is framed and imprisoned, she must find the evidence to clear him and fool social services into believing she?s responsible enough to care for her little brother.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 2, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Agree with Nir Shelter that the logline ought to be framed in terms of a singular -- not a dual -- objective goal.? Because the defining characteristic of a plot is that it possess a unitary goal -- one overarching objective goal that creates the? singular"spine" of the narrative.? Or the analogy thRead more

    Agree with Nir Shelter that the logline ought to be framed in terms of a singular — not a dual — objective goal.? Because the defining characteristic of a plot is that it possess a unitary goal — one overarching objective goal that creates the? singular”spine” of the narrative.? Or the analogy that I visualize for my own purposes, the one objective goal provides a singular clothesline on which everything else hangs, all the characters all the twists and turns of the plot and plot threads.

    It seems to me that?exonerating her father is her overarching plot goal — the clothesline on which everything else should hang.? Maintaining custody and taking care of her little brother is a complication — and a good one — to? achieving? that objective goal.? (How old is she, anyway?) But exonerating her father should be her objective goal? because it would solve her secondary dramatic problem of maintaining custody and providing for her little brother.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: October 1, 2017In: Drama

    To begin a new life after a suicide attempt, an orphaned girl, who is afraid of the outer world, with a stranger’s help moves to a big city and begins interacting with people.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on October 1, 2017 at 6:59 am

    >>>begins interacting with people. And then what?? The logline for the concept still lacks a plot, a throughline for the action. No matter -in spite of -- her past, her inner conflicts,? there needs to be a plot.? That is, she need to be? striving toward a specific?-- not a general -- objecRead more

    >>>begins interacting with people.

    And then what?? The logline for the concept still lacks a plot, a throughline for the action. No matter -in spite of — her past, her inner conflicts,? there needs to be a plot.? That is, she need to be? striving toward a specific?– not a general — objective goal. And that goal needs to be stated in the logline.? ?What is that specific, objective goal?

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