1. Posted: September 6, 2017In:

    S-Con is a quirky gaming convention where players exchange in-game goods, and young con-artist Bryon Spells is ready to rob it blind. But when the highest ranking player is revealed to be his estranged father, Bryon must mend the broken relationship, or risk the entire heist.

    dpg Singularity

    Why should I want the con artist to succeed in robbing innocent people? ? Why should I not want the father to defeat the son, foil his plan?In whom is audience supposed to emotionally invest in, to root for?

    Why should I want the con artist to succeed in robbing innocent people? ? Why should I not want the father to defeat the son, foil his plan?

    In whom is audience supposed to emotionally invest in, to root for?

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  2. Posted: September 7, 2017In:

    A female bounty hunter holds an innocent man hostage to trap his future-self: a fugitive killer from 20 years in the future, desperate to merge identities with his younger self to stay alive.

    dpg Singularity

    kbfilmworks:You're logline pitches a plot for what might become a new, hybrid genre, "chrono-kink", a mash up time travel and doppelganger tropes. ? Both tropes separately require some logical sleight of hand for the audience to suspend disbelief and buy into the situation. ?Ditto+ when they are comRead more

    kbfilmworks:

    You’re logline pitches a plot for what might become a new, hybrid genre, “chrono-kink”, a mash up time travel and doppelganger tropes. ? Both tropes separately require some logical sleight of hand for the audience to suspend disbelief and buy into the situation. ?Ditto+ when they are combined.

    First of all, who is the main character, the gal or the guy(s)? The logline pitches the setup from her pov — she’s hold him, not he’s being held by her. ?But, imho, he and his dirty double are more interesting. ?As characters and as regarding their character arcs. ?So who owns the story?

    And if his future-self doesn’t merge with his present-self, does the present-self also perish? ?(Since the future self is evil, what great loss ?would it be if he doesn’t merge and perishes? IOW: ?what are the ultimate stakes?)

    And how does she know about his future self, anyway? ?Doesn’t that require her to have a future self? ?(If he can have a doppelganger, then mus it not to be rule of this world that it’s possible for others to have future-selves?)

    And if his future self is the negative (aka: ?Jungian “Shadow”) of his present self, then would it not be the same for her? ?And if not, why for him, not for her?

    In sum, what I am curious to know is how well you’ve thought through your chrono-kinky world ?to make the audience suspend disbelief ?so as to emotionally invest in the characters? ?(And which one do you want them to invest in, to root for?)

    What’s the underlying theme you wish to explore? ?What is the idea that ?unifies, holds the story together?

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  3. Posted: September 8, 2017In:

    Martin, a perfect square, discovers his divorce and general sense of unhappiness can be linked back to a lack lustre sex life, to help overcome his sexual inadequacies he hires a prostitute.

    dpg Singularity

    And then what?The logline sets up a situation for a plot but it doesn't lay out a plot. ?What dramatic complication results from this set up? ?What becomes the ?protagonist's objective goal? ?(Check out ?the "Formula" at the top of the web page for guidelines on the basis requirements for an industrRead more

    And then what?

    The logline sets up a situation for a plot but it doesn’t lay out a plot. ?What dramatic complication results from this set up? ?What becomes the ?protagonist’s objective goal? ?(Check out ?the “Formula” at the top of the web page for guidelines on the basis requirements for an industry acceptable logline.)

    Also, men hiring prostitutes to put some luster in their sex life isn’t exactly an original story idea. ?In fact, in real life, it ‘s being played out in sundry variations tens of thousands of times every day. ?What is your fresh and original take (aka: ?hook) on this all too common human situation?

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