1. Posted: August 21, 2017In:

    When a TV program is set to launch an expose on a commune, a member who sought refuge in the group because his grandfather’s murder was instigated by the media, devices a plan to sabotage the TV network and protect his identity.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity

    >>>because his grandfather?s murder was instigated by the mediaThis is confusing. ?Who committed the murder (for whatever reason)? ? The protagonist who took refuge in the commune -- or someone else? ?If the protagonist committed the murder, then the logline needs to say so directly, explicRead more

    >>>because his grandfather?s murder was instigated by the media

    This is confusing. ?Who committed the murder (for whatever reason)? ? The protagonist who took refuge in the commune — or someone else? ?If the protagonist committed the murder, then the logline needs to say so directly, explicitly.

    And if he committed the murder, why should an audience sympathize with his plight? ?Why would they want him to succeed?

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  2. Posted: August 21, 2017In:

    An estranged successful movie director and a hotshot film producer must stop a rival Head of Studio from buying out their companies.

    dpg Singularity

    >>my concern is that the average audience member may not give a shit about it.Yep.Also, the industry is in the midst of a revolution thanks to technology. VOD, etc. is undermining old economic and movie making paradigms and overthrowing old media empires. That?s the real drama, the real storyRead more

    >>my concern is that the average audience member may not give a shit about it.

    Yep.

    Also, the industry is in the midst of a revolution thanks to technology. VOD, etc. is undermining old economic and movie making paradigms and overthrowing old media empires. That?s the real drama, the real story ? not a generational feud between hyper-inflated egos (although that is a factor.)

    The premise of the logline seems so yesterday.

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  3. Posted: August 21, 2017In:

    A broke bounty hunter with schizophrenia and down to his final pill, must catch an elusive fugitive in extremely isolated territory before his hallucinations kick in.

    dpg Singularity

    I think you have the kernel of a very interesting predicament, a schizophrenic who must apprehend a criminal before his meds run out (IOW: a ticking clock).I do have a credibility issue with his being able to function as a professional bounty hunter after being cut from the force after his schizophrRead more

    I think you have the kernel of a very interesting predicament, a schizophrenic who must apprehend a criminal before his meds run out (IOW: a ticking clock).

    I do have a credibility issue with his being able to function as a professional bounty hunter after being cut from the force after his schizophrenia kicked in. ?If he can’t function as a cop, how can he function as a bounty hunter? ?Being a bounty hunter entails being able to competently exercise the ?same cognitive skill set of ?a cop.

    Also, I think afflicting him with alcoholism is an unnecessary pile on. ?I suggest it would be better to focus one character vulnerability; schizophrenia by itself creates more than sufficient opportunities for dramatic conflict and complications.

    fwiw

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