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  1. Posted: June 24, 2017In: Adventure

    Down an english mine, an unexpected explosion damages David’s chance of earning a decent living, thus sending ripples through the Cornish village.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 24, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    And then what?This sets up a situation, a crisis that follows from the inciting incident (the explosion). ?Now what is the plot, the course of action, that follows? ?And who is the protagonist that is the focal point of the action? ?Those are the questions an industry acceptable logline needs to ansRead more

    And then what?

    This sets up a situation, a crisis that follows from the inciting incident (the explosion). ?Now what is the plot, the course of action, that follows? ?And who is the protagonist that is the focal point of the action? ?Those are the questions an industry acceptable logline needs to answer, the information that the logline needs to provide.

    Consult the “Rules” link at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to write an industry acceptable logline.

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  2. Posted: June 21, 2017In: Action

    Lt. Colonel Tony Stryker, a military ?Bug Collector? fights to contain his own creation after its accidental release traps him in the hot zone of a third world island.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 24, 2017 at 2:16 am

    Very good point by Foxtrot25.The virus needs to be manifest as symptoms -- and death to underscore the stakes -- in on screen human victims. ?As in the "Andromeda Strain" (1971) and "Contagion" (2011).How else is an audience going to understand what he's dealing with?

    Very good point by Foxtrot25.

    The virus needs to be manifest as symptoms — and death to underscore the stakes — in on screen human victims. ?As in the “Andromeda Strain” (1971) and “Contagion” (2011).

    How else is an audience going to understand what he’s dealing with?

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  3. Posted: June 23, 2017In: Comedy

    When a young Latina, Izel Madrid, finds out she descends from Aztec gods, she decides to join forces with the charmingly surly, shapeshifting detective, Elias Navarro, in order to fight supernatural crime and find out the truth about her lineage.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 23, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    Do you conceive this as a one-off feature film? ?Or the origin episode for a film franchise? ?(I myself think the story certainly has potential for setting up the latter. )Whatever, I suggest the inciting incident may need some polishing. ?First of all, does being descended from Aztec gods convey soRead more

    Do you conceive this as a one-off feature film? ?Or the origin episode for a film franchise? ?(I myself think the story certainly has potential for setting up the latter. )

    Whatever, I suggest the inciting incident may need some polishing. ?First of all, does being descended from Aztec gods convey some ultra-human powers? ?I’m guessing it does, but I shouldn’t have to guess. ?So I think the logline needs to say so because that is the story hook, the strongest selling point for the story.

    Being a descendant of Aztec gods certainly raises a lot of career possibilities for the Latina. ?So of all the things she could do with her powers, what incites her to take on the bad hombres?

    Well, one obvious answer to that she vows to take on the bad hombres ?to avenge a great injustice, the death of beloved ones in her family (father, mother, both, take your pick.) So I suggest the logline needs to indicate that. ?This justifies her career choice, strengthens her motivation and makes the stakes personal.

    A final point: ?loglines for fictional stories should need not, in fact should not, include the names of the characters. ?Movie makers don’t care about names at this point. They do care about what kind of characters they are — their defining characteristic. ?It’s sufficient to say that she descended from Aztec gods and he is a shapeshifter.

    Best wishes for this story.

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