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  1. Posted: June 29, 2017In: Drama

    After the death of a longtime friend, a man’s forgotten imagination is rekindled by his daughter.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 29, 2017 at 9:42 am

    It's unclear to me what the father's dramatic problem is.??What does "forgotten imagination" mean? ?That he's lost his mojo to write? ?Paint? ?Sculpt? Compose music? Do stand up comedy? ?What is his mode of creative expression?Also it seems to make him a dependent actor rather than an autonomous ageRead more

    It’s unclear to me what the father’s dramatic problem is.??What does “forgotten imagination” mean? ?That he’s lost his mojo to write? ?Paint? ?Sculpt? Compose music? Do stand up comedy? ?What is his mode of creative expression?

    Also it seems to make him a dependent actor rather than an autonomous agent of his own dramatic destiny.

    And if, as Foxtrot25 suggests, roles are reversed ?I am dubious that it solves what I perceive as a fundamental relationship problem; to wit, ?a disjunctive split between the owner of the problem and the owner of the responsibility for the solution.

    The logline gives ownership of the problem to the father, and ownership of the task and responsibility for the solution to the daughter. ?In the other words, the character arc has been subdivided between 2 characters.

    The general rule of the thumb is that whoever owns the character arc is the designated protagonist. So who owns the character arc? ?The father or the daughter??(And if the designated protagonist is supposed to be the daughter — what’s her character arc as distinct from his?)

    Of course, a supporting character can provide comfort and encouragement. ?But in drama, the job of the character arc for the protagonist can’t be subcontracted out to a supporting character. ?The protagonist is ultimately responsible for effecting his own character arc — not dependent on someone else doing the job for him.

    Ergo, later or sooner, the father has to man-up and take responsibility for his own character arc.

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  2. Posted: June 28, 2017In: Action

    A trio of drag queens orchestrate a prison break to rescue their transgender roommate after she is wrongly incarcerated in a men’s facility.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 29, 2017 at 2:02 am

    >>>?the drag queens are not in prison at all. Doh! I stand corrected, I misread that part of the logline. For reasons stated, my mind focused on the credibility of the transgender being locked up long term in a male prison.>>>But what if the story isn?t set there, and is set in plaRead more

    >>>?the drag queens are not in prison at all.
    Doh! I stand corrected, I misread that part of the logline. For reasons stated, my mind focused on the credibility of the transgender being locked up long term in a male prison.

    >>>But what if the story isn?t set there, and is set in place where it is not accepted? Thus, she is wrongly imprisoned and held because other people refuse to see her what she identifies as.

    If the story is set in the present, regardless of where it is set (I’m assuming it’s set somewhere in the US), then the transgender person can cash in on a slam dunk multi-million dollar legal settlement for violation of her civil rights. ?There are plenty of lawyers who will be eager to cash in on a sure thing. ?(And she’ll probably get a ?reduced or suspended sentence — depending upon her crime, which we don’t know.)

    I might add (from personal experience again) that there is no upside for prison personnel to intentionally keep her in the wrong place. First of all, her presence means more work and stress for them because of the increased conflict her presence would create, the extra work it would take to maintain order with her mingling with an antagonistic population. As if there wasn’t already enough stress and aggravation in their jobs.

    And what are the 3 drag queens “rescuing” her from, if not the heightened jeopardy to her welfare and life from being in the wrong place among the wrong people?

    What’s ?the motivation for jailers to knowingly, intentionally keep custody of a problem prisoner when they don’t have to??

    Also, as either perpetrators or abettors of the mistake they know they would be exposing themselves to legal liability, civil as well as criminal. ?That’s part of their training. ?(The first lecture of the first day of my training in jail procedure began with the training officer writing on the chalkboard the 1st and most important rule of the job: “Cover your ass. ?Watch your back. ?Because nobody else will.”)

    Now if the author has bona fide evidence that a transgender was mistakenly transported to and intentionally kept at a male prison for the duration — well, truth is always stranger than fiction. ?And there is the precedent and the information for constructing a credible set up.

    Otherwise, I can only buy into the setup as a comedy of bureaucratic error and human folly — comedy has license to play loose and fancy with the facts in ways that straight drama does not.

    fwiw.

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  3. Posted: June 28, 2017In: Action

    A trio of drag queens orchestrate a prison break to rescue their transgender roommate after she is wrongly incarcerated in a men’s facility.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 28, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    >> but on rare occasion get misgendered for any number of legal reasons (government ID and unchanged birth certificates, etc).Hmm. I can buy this as an initial mistake at the time of the transfer. But not as an error that isn't promptly rectified when discovered. And it would be promptly discoRead more

    >> but on rare occasion get misgendered for any number of legal reasons (government ID and unchanged birth certificates, etc).

    Hmm. I can buy this as an initial mistake at the time of the transfer. But not as an error that isn’t promptly rectified when discovered. And it would be promptly discovered given the fact prisoners are routinely strip searched when they arrive and showers are communal. No amount of erroneous paperwork can cover that up indefinitely.

    Do you have documented instances where the mixup occurred and the mistake wasn’t “uncovered” for days… weeks… months?

    And again, if the transgender did end up in male prison — why not the same prison as the transvestites?

    P.S. I used to work in the Los Angeles City Jail system. ?In “Hollyweird”, as a matter of fact, one of the 2 epicenters of all thing gay and trans in terms of criminal conduct in Southern California. ?I routinely had to deal with the problem of establishing sexual identities and orientation and segregating the prisoners accordingly. ?Including proper processing of the paperwork to prevent — or correct — mistakes. ?

    So I know the drill. ?I know how the system works and how it sometimes fails. ?I know what I’m talking about.

    That is why I said I could buy into the premise as a comedy of errors, because in comedy you can play fast and loose with the rules, with reality. ?But if this is to be drama, then the story has to meet a higher standard of credibility — or at least have a good alibi.

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