1. Posted: May 30, 2017In:

    After she is possessed by two unresting young souls to avenge their deaths by an un- remorseful negligent nurse, a little girl must find the exorcist who can deliver her before she kills her negligent parents.

    dpg Singularity

    It occurs to me that if she's possessed, how does she have the free will to ?search for an exorcist? ?I would think the avenging souls might have a 2nd opinion on allowing that to happen. Isn't that's the whole point of demonic possession? ?So what's to stop them from stopping her from finding an exRead more

    It occurs to me that if she’s possessed, how does she have the free will to ?search for an exorcist? ?I would think the avenging souls might have a 2nd opinion on allowing that to happen.

    Isn’t that’s the whole point of demonic possession? ?So what’s to stop them from stopping her from finding an exorcist?

    In the official “guide book” on exorcisms — the Bible — the victims of possession lack the free will to beg Christ to cast out the demons that possess them. ?Others have to intercede on?their behalf.

    There are, after all, certain conventions to dramatizing demonic possession.

    Just saying.

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  2. Posted: May 3, 2017In:

    A bitter yet compliant African slave is killed for a crime he didn?t commit and is revived through black magic. Upon discovering he?s immortal, he?ll spend decades trying to recover what was stolen from him. New Logline: After a revived African slave discovers he is immortal after being framed for murder, he spends each passing century fighting bigotry to end how blacks are viewed in America. 5/3/2017

    dpg Singularity

    >>>After discovering immortality Wonder if that could be re-phrased better. ?How does he discover it? ?This is obviously the inciting incident that kicks the whole saga in the pilot episode. ?So it has to be a good one -- and one that inducesa viewing audience to suspend disbelief. >>Read more

    >>>After discovering immortality

    Wonder if that could be re-phrased better. ?How does he discover it? ?This is obviously the inciting incident that kicks the whole saga in the pilot episode. ?So it has to be a good one — and one that inducesa viewing audience to suspend disbelief.

    >>> a former African slave

    Wouldn’t it make for a stronger pilot episode and story line if he becomes immortal while still enslaved and the through line for the 1st season would become his struggle to win his freedom. ?(And freedom for his family? ) ?I’m assuming that becoming immortal has conveyed no other boon or power, so he would have to wrestle with obtaining his freedom like mere mortals.

    >>filled with anger

    Isn’t that so obvious that it doesn’t need ?to be said? ?Or is subjective need to somehow, over time, transcend his anger? ?His anger can serve as a two-edged sword of emotional motivation. ?There is plenty of cause to be angry because there is so much injustice and oppression. ?But on the other hand, if not tempered, it can lead to rash behavior and self-defeating consequences. (And the character has to be flawed; even though fighting to overcome evil, he’s can’t be portrayed as a saint.)

    Anyway, overall, I suggest the logline needs to frame his objective goal more directly: to wit, to obtain his freedom and fight for the freedom and equality for all his people. ?(That is his long term objective goal, isn’t it?)

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  3. Posted: May 30, 2017In:

    Imprisoned in an apartment with a complete stranger, an idealist twenty-something has to find a way to save herself and the world population from the secret organization holding her captive.

    dpg Singularity

    >>>Something I often recommend is to really think out the antagonist?s goals and motivations. I go as far as making a logline for the antagonist.Excellent advice! ?I wholeheartedly agree. ?It takes a great antagonist to make a great protagonist.In this case, the antagonist can't be a cast oRead more

    >>>Something I often recommend is to really think out the antagonist?s goals and motivations. I go as far as making a logline for the antagonist.

    Excellent advice! ?I wholeheartedly agree. ?It takes a great antagonist to make a great protagonist.

    In this case, the antagonist can’t be a cast of thousands, a collective “they”. ?The logline needs to ID ?one alpha-antagonist who, more than any other, is the organizing and driving force of the conspiracy .

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