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When a disillusioned hacker discovers that the world he accepts as real is a virtual simulation, he struggles to develop the power to liberate humanity from its enslavement to computers.
This has been loglined here before, but I think it's worth a second look because:1] It's a challenging story to summarize for the purpose of ?a ?logline or for any other purpose. ?The one liner on IMDB ("A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his rolRead more
This has been loglined here before, but I think it’s worth a second look because:
1] It’s a challenging story to summarize for the purpose of ?a ?logline or for any other purpose. ?The one liner on IMDB (“A computer hacker learns from mysterious rebels about the true nature of his reality and his role in the war against its controllers”) is, btw, a blurb not a logline, and a rather inadequate one, imho.
2] Truly novel sci-fi ?or fantasy scripts are hard to logline, hard to pitch, hard to sell. ?Such was the case for the Wachowski brothers ?– in spite of the fact that they had already established industry credibility and contacts through the sale and production of an earlier script “Assassins” (1995).
It will be observed that the logline I have posted seems to be a spoiler. ?It seems to give away the Big Reveal, that the “real world” is really a virtual world, a computer simulation. ?I seem to be inconsistent with my oft asserted position that the loglines should never contain a spoiler, should never disclose the Big Reveal. My counter argument is:
1] Yes it’s a Big Reveal, and a?great one, one of the biggest in the history of cinema. ?But it’s also the story hook. ?It is infinitely superior to ?”The true nature of his reality” — how vapid, how vague, ?how utterly useless to serve the purpose of a story hook in a logline.
2] I believe that it’s “legal” and necessary to reveal The Big Reveal in the logline because it occurs at the end of the 1st Act after Neo swallows the red pill — in the 30th minute of the film. ?It’s the plot element, the film beat that ?immediately and completely hooks you into the story.
Were this Big Reveal to occur at the end of the 2nd Act or early in the 3rd, then I would not include it in the logline. ?It wouldn’t qualify for a logline hook because it would occur too late in the story to be the primary hook for an audience’s attention and curiosity.
I believe that to be included in a logline, to qualify as the hook , the event must transpire in the 1st Act (or no later than early in the 2nd Act).
(But I’m not entirely satisfied with the wording of this logline.)
See lessIn a future dystopia an alcoholic detective’s routine investigation into a string of missing children leads him to the discovery that his deceased daughter might still be alive.
>>>When his deceased daughter?s voice amazingly begins speaking through his future society?s AI network,Better. Now the logline has a hook embedded in the inciting incident.>>>>alcoholic....A result of his daughter's death? ?A symptom of his grieving? ? Psychologically speaking,Read more
>>>When his deceased daughter?s voice amazingly begins speaking through his future society?s AI network,
Better. Now the logline has a hook embedded in the inciting incident.
>>>>alcoholic….
A result of his daughter’s death? ?A symptom of his grieving? ? Psychologically speaking, if he sunk into uncontrolled drinking as a result of her death, then he’s been a latent alcoholic all along. ?Her death gave him the excuse to totally give into that character flaw. ?Anyway, I’m more inclined to tag him as “grieving” in the logline, dramatize the symptom in the script. ?But that’s a quibble.
>>> forcing him to go rogue.
I get what ?”going rogue” implies. ?It’s a standard trope that a protagonist must jump a fence marked with “No Trespassing” signs to do what he needs to do to get what he needs to get. ?The question on my mind is, would the logline be even stronger, a better sales pitch, if it were more specific as to what “going rogue” means?
I, for one, ?want to know specifically how he goes rogues, how he goes about solving the mystery.
Now then. ?I’ve read a lot of loglines for scripts — scripts that sold ?– with strong hooks ?in terms of setting up the initial situation and inciting incident– but only vague statements of what protagonist does about it. ?In other words, loglines that don’t have a complete summary of a plot.
But in?this precinct, the preferred formulation is a logline that summarizes a plot; that is a logline that states a specific course of action toward a specific objective goal. (Per the guidelines under “Formula” at the top of this web page.)
But again, it appears that a logline can get a script read if it’s got a great hook, even if it’s vague or incomplete on the details of the plot. ?Which is why I I have come to the conclusion that the most important element in a selling logline is the hook.
So why do I vex writers to no end by wanting to see a logline ?that lays out a plot? ?Isn’t having a great hook good enough? ?Well, ?imho, if you’re a newbie, just starting out, without an agent, without industry contacts, then, yeah, having a logline with a strong hook and a ?clear plot is more effective.
I say that even if — as is the case with many loglines posted here — you’re only sending up a trial balloon for a premise, a concept — not for a completed script.?
All I can say now is that you’ve got an interesting premise. ?But I can’t — yet — say you’ve got a great logline. ? Because I haven’t seen the outline of the plot that follows from the premise. ?”Forcing him to go rogue” leaves me guessing where the story is going to go, what his actual m.o. ?and objective goal will be.
But I shouldn’t have to guess. ?The logline should tell me.
fwiw
See lessWhen a lost girl encounters a dictator obsessed with his personal safety she must sacrifice her own well-being to escape his regime.
What does "embrace her emotion" mean? ?How does that translate into a dramatic plot, a specific course of action towards an objective goal? ? What does she need to do -- not feel, but do -- about the situation?
What does “embrace her emotion” mean? ?How does that translate into a dramatic plot, a specific course of action towards an objective goal? ? What does she need to do — not feel, but do — about the situation?
See less