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  1. Posted: May 20, 2017In: SciFi

    Planet Earth is under alien occupation by the Reptilian Armada and their High Commander Rigel, is in search of his future Queen Sasha. Bound by a prophecy; Rigel and Sasha will marry bringing forth a child blending the bloodlines and forming an alliance between both their planets.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 20, 2017 at 4:05 am

    In loglines for fiction, don't use their names; rather describe their roles.Also the logline seems to build the story around alien creatures. ?Why would humans want to watch a movie about alien creatures who get top billing, ?conquer humanity and compel them to follow their prophetic game plan? ?

    In loglines for fiction, don’t use their names; rather describe their roles.

    Also the logline seems to build the story around alien creatures. ?Why would humans want to watch a movie about alien creatures who get top billing, ?conquer humanity and compel them to follow their prophetic game plan? ?

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  2. Posted: May 20, 2017In: Crime

    An on the edge of your seat drama about an NYPD detective who falls in love with a woman; who?s brother is the head of a drug cartel and the detective?s partner gone bad, determined to end their romance.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 20, 2017 at 3:33 am

    As Foxtrot25 said. ?I'm slumped down in my seat, confused.The logline seems to set up a dramatic situation, but not a plot. ?It?sets up a story about a detective, but the only ones who have an action plan, an objective goal, are the bad guys.?If the detective is the protagonist what must he?do in thRead more

    As Foxtrot25 said. ?I’m slumped down in my seat, confused.

    The logline seems to set up a dramatic situation, but not a plot. ?It?sets up a story about a detective, but the only ones who have an action plan, an objective goal, are the bad guys.?If the detective is the protagonist what must he?do in the situation? ?What is his action plan, his objective goal?

    And what logline readers are looking for are “just the facts” statements of the plot — not hype (“seat of your pants”).

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  3. Posted: May 18, 2017In: Coming of Age

    An introverted young actor goes looking for love anywhere he can think of, except himself.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 18, 2017 at 7:41 am

    >>>>An idealistic young actor tries to create the world around him as if it were his own movie.Why? ?What's the inciting incident that causes him to attempt this course of action?And what's so idealistic about trying to "script" real life to conform to the ?standards of an immature and sRead more

    >>>>An idealistic young actor tries to create the world around him as if it were his own movie.

    Why? ?What’s the inciting incident that causes him to attempt this course of action?

    And what’s so idealistic about trying to “script” real life to conform to the ?standards of an immature and self-centered control freak? ?Why would a viewing audience want to root for him to succeed?

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