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An awkward, young man attempts to dissuade his imaginary friend from accompanying him on a first date, only to find he’s not the only one with an overactive imagination.
>>Do you really need to clarify what?s at stake on a first date? Isn?t that self explanatory? Perhaps. ?But because he's socially awkward, maybe he would want his imaginary friend along ?to ease the tension, to help him overcome his awkwardness. IOW: I don't see what particular problem havingRead more
>>Do you really need to clarify what?s at stake on a first date? Isn?t that self explanatory?
Perhaps. ?But because he’s socially awkward, maybe he would want his imaginary friend along ?to ease the tension, to help him overcome his awkwardness. IOW: I don’t see what particular problem having his imaginary friend along creates. ?Particular in this situation as distinct from the general problem of having an imaginary friend who ?subs for a real one.
Nor do I see what particular problem is created by his date bringing along an imaginary friend. ?I can guess what the problem might be, but I shouldn’t have to guess; the logline should inform me. ?Your logline sets up a situation that I imagine can go in any number of directions. ?But it’s not my story. ?I want to know what is the specific direction you intend to take with this situation, the particular plot you have in your imagination.
See lessAn awkward, young man attempts to dissuade his imaginary friend from accompanying him on a first date, only to find he’s not the only one with an overactive imagination.
A logline should be a statement of a plot. ?This logline sets up a situation for a possibly amusing plot, but it fall short of actually describing one. ?What is the young man's objective goal? ?What dramatic problem/obstacle/opposition arises out of the situation that he must overcome to achieve thaRead more
A logline should be a statement of a plot. ?This logline sets up a situation for a possibly amusing plot, but it fall short of actually describing one. ?What is the young man’s objective goal? ?What dramatic problem/obstacle/opposition arises out of the situation that he must overcome to achieve that goal? ?What’s at stake on this first date?
Please check out the information under “Formula” for guidelines on writing an industry acceptable?logline.
See lessIn the final stages of war between three factions, an incredible warrior and huntsman is called upon to secure, protect and adapt a defenseless faction called Avagon in return to fulfill a lifelong family vendetta. If anyone would be so kind as to give me a straight, honest opinion on this concept for my 3rd year game project. Thank you!
>>>to secure, protect and adapt a defenseless factionFrom whom? ?Who is the adversary, the antagonist?Also the stated objective is, well, defensive. ?What's the offensive game? ?Because that's how games in virtual reality and games and wars in physical reality are won ?-- by later or soonerRead more
>>>to secure, protect and adapt a defenseless faction
From whom? ?Who is the adversary, the antagonist?
Also the stated objective is, well, defensive. ?What’s the offensive game? ?Because that’s how games in virtual reality and games and wars in physical reality are won ?– by later or sooner ?going on the attack. A protagonist should be proactive (have an offensive strategy), not merely be reactive (on the defense).
The game needs an offensive objective goal, a flag, a location, a prized possession, a liberated love interest — something that when attained means they’ve won. ?What is that objective goal?
fwiw
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