Thanks. ?I think he could be a good story, but I’m still a little fuzzy on the character and the concept.

Question: ?does he ever start talking?

Observation: the problem with “down a path of love and self-discovery” is that it relates to his (internal) subjective need, not an (external) objective goal. ?Film is a visual medium which means every element in a logline must correlate to an external moment that can be visualized through action and/or an object. ?(Example: If a sprinter’s goal is to win Olympic gold, then the visuals ?that inform the audience that he succeeded are obvious: ?he breaks the tape in the final race: a gold metal is hung around his neck.)

Furthermore, taking the logline at face value it’s the nurse who “leads him”. ?To repeat the metaphor I used earlier, she seems to grab the baton and run with the story. ?Well, of course, she’s a supporting, catalytic character, and that’s great, but the logline needs to be worded, in a way that keeps the baton, the plot line, firmly in the grip of the warrior.

Furthermore, the logline shouldn’t tip its hand, give away the ending. ?It should implicitly raise a dramatic question, but not give away the answer, explicitly or implicitly. ?It should create tension, not dissipate it by suggesting that everything is going to work out okay.

So what’s the visual ?for going “down a path of love and self-discovery”? ?What happens on screen at the climax that informs an audience that he has made his character arc?