1. Posted: May 1, 2017In:

    When his grandmother sets him up with a man they?ve just met, an architect must decide between a loveless relationship and reinventing himself to complete The Playground and reclaim himself ? and the man he loves.

    dpg Singularity

    Agree with Nir Shelter that in the romance genre there's got to be a seemingly insuperable obstacle that stands in the way of true love. ?In this case, the obstacle appears to be internal. But film is a visual medium so all internal conflicts and obstacles must be shown ?-- there has to be an externRead more

    Agree with Nir Shelter that in the romance genre there’s got to be a seemingly insuperable obstacle that stands in the way of true love. ?In this case, the obstacle appears to be internal.

    But film is a visual medium so all internal conflicts and obstacles must be shown ?– there has to be an external representation of the obstacle. The indecisiveness is not the problem; it’s a a symptom of the deeper problem, the obstacle. What is that obstacle?

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  2. Posted: April 30, 2017In:

    After witnessing the murder of her student, a teacher is forced to work with an off-grid agency to stop an underground terror division.

    dpg Singularity

    I suggest that her defining characteristic is not her present job but her previous job -- as a Marine. ?That's what gives her the knowledge and experience to rise to the challenge. ?That's how the logline ?make sense. ?Why would they force a mere teacher into the "off-grid agency" ?Answer: her militRead more

    I suggest that her defining characteristic is not her present job but her previous job — as a Marine. ?That’s what gives her the knowledge and experience to rise to the challenge. ?That’s how the logline ?make sense. ?Why would they force a mere teacher into the “off-grid agency” ?Answer: her military experience. So that needs to be in the logline. ?Her present role as a teacher may be necessary to kick start the series, but it seems extraneous for the purpose of a ?logline.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2017In:

    When two wholesome brothers inherit a strip club they must not only overcome their own prejudices to see it succeed, but also defend it when the upright community decides to drive it out of business

    dpg Singularity

    I think Richiev has nailed it. ?It's an interesting situation, but a not-so interesting plot in terms of dramatic tension. ?It needs to be something they MUST do -- or else (high stakes). ? It should cut against the grain of their character, normative lifestyle and personal values.And I think it wouRead more

    I think Richiev has nailed it. ?It’s an interesting situation, but a not-so interesting plot in terms of dramatic tension. ?It needs to be something they MUST do — or else (high stakes). ? It should cut against the grain of their character, normative lifestyle and personal values.

    And I think it would work better as a comedy than as a drama.

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