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Thirty five year old toy designer John who hates kids gets a chance to design toys for one of the best toy manufacturing company under the super vision of four year old Sara.
The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character -- but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else -- what are the stakes?If he's the protagonist thenRead more
The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character — but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.
Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else — what are the stakes?
If he’s the protagonist then he needs to have a proactive role in pursuit of an objective goal. ?What is that goal?
See lessWhen he sees the teacher who sexually assaulted him as a child, a young executive’s memories of years of abuse flood back and he embarks on a mission to protect other boys, only to discover what he really seeks is to avenge his abused friend?s suicide.
What's the ?manner of revenge? ?Does the man seek to expose the teacher, bring him to legal justice? ?Or does the man seek "street justice" -- he wants to kill him? Or...?
What’s the ?manner of revenge? ?Does the man seek to expose the teacher, bring him to legal justice? ?Or does the man seek “street justice” — he wants to kill him? Or…?
See lessA hometown bound 60 year old veteran is forced to reunite with his family across stranger seas. Right when he is about to leave behind his home, he finds companionship in his 30 year old neighbor. But when the inevitable D day arrives, he must lose one family to gain another.
Agree with the others. ?At 51 words, this is too long for a logline. ?If you had to pitch the story as a twitter -- and only 1 twitter -- what would that twitter say?
Agree with the others. ?At 51 words, this is too long for a logline. ?If you had to pitch the story as a twitter — and only 1 twitter — what would that twitter say?
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