1. Posted: March 27, 2017In:

    -A retired Police officer hires two thieves to capture a cruel dacoit to take personal revenge

    dpg Singularity

    A dacoit is an Indian term for a member of a gang of armed robbers. ?So that's the context of the story. What the logline needs to clarify is the motive. What is the inciting incident that provokes the retired officer to get revenge? ?Revenge for what? And since he's outsourcing the dirty work, he'sRead more

    A dacoit is an Indian term for a member of a gang of armed robbers. ?So that’s the context of the story.

    What the logline needs to clarify is the motive. What is the inciting incident that provokes the retired officer to get revenge? ?Revenge for what?

    And since he’s outsourcing the dirty work, he’s also outsourcing the personal risk. ? The protagonist always becomes the character who takes the greatest risk, whose life is in greatest jeopardy. ?Who is the character the movie audience is going to be watching and worrying about the most? ?The retired cop or the dacoit hired to do the job?

    Who is the real protagonist of this story?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: March 26, 2017In:

    An Obeah Woman leads a bioweapons collector into the Ta?no ?Land of Souls? to find the cure for a deadly virus he helped create

    dpg Singularity

    >>> makes the hazardous I suggest ?must make? instead. A logline is more effective when it conveys a sense of urgency. >> the serial nature of my novel could be easily adapted for TV Definitely a burgeoning market. We?re in a golden age of serial drama. We?ve had some healthy debatesRead more

    >>> makes the hazardous

    I suggest ?must make? instead. A logline is more effective when it conveys a sense of urgency.

    >> the serial nature of my novel could be easily adapted for TV

    Definitely a burgeoning market. We?re in a golden age of serial drama. We?ve had some healthy debates in this forum about whether the same loglines guidelines apply to a series or franchise with dozens of episodes extending out for years.

    I think that in most cases they do. But there may be exceptions or special considerations. Research continues. Even if different guidelines apply for serials, the same word constraint, alas, still applies. That seems to be the nature of the beast ?er, business.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: March 26, 2017In:

    An Obeah Woman leads a bioweapons collector into the Ta?no ?Land of Souls? to find the cure for a deadly virus he helped create

    dpg Singularity

    Kaznats:You got me. ?"Pirates of the Caribbean" is a franchise I have studiously, religiously, faithfully avoided. So I am unqualified to render a judgement call on "Obeah".But if I were a betting man I would cover all bets that 98%+ of the people who read that logline won't get the reference to theRead more

    Kaznats:

    You got me. ?”Pirates of the Caribbean” is a franchise I have studiously, religiously, faithfully avoided. So I am unqualified to render a judgement call on “Obeah”.

    But if I were a betting man I would cover all bets that 98%+ of the people who read that logline won’t get the reference to the Taino. ?So I suggest you explain in the script but leave it out of the logline.

    >>This is the problem of writing a historical novel, it is impossible to explain the terms and concepts in a 25 word hook

    Well, it’s certainly a challenge.

    FWIW: I faced a similar problem in rendering a logline for my current project based on real people, real historical events. ?My first draft, a “just the facts” version was something like this. “The true story of the militant feminist who fought for the passage of a Constitutional amendment guaranteeing all American women the right to vote.”

    I know, I know. You can hardly wait to see the movie.

    As if!

    I finally realized that ?a “just the facts” summary of ?history wasn’t good enough for the purpose of a logline. ?And what is the purpose of a logline? The purpose of a logline ?is to sell the hook, not tell the history; to advertise the sizzle. not describe the steak.

    I offer for your consideration my current version of the logline, which pitches the hook, the sizzle.?

    See less
    • 0