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When the town bully humiliates him, a mild-mannered cowboy sets out to reclaim his dignity, only to accidentally kill the man, and set off his violent outlaw family.
Agree with Richiev.Loglines are about objective goals,? places, persons or things that can be visualized on screen.>>>intends to reclaim his ?dignity?. (Which he later learns is his masculinity.)What's the visual for "dignity"?? What does "his masculinity" look like? The elements of a logliRead more
Agree with Richiev.
Loglines are about objective goals,? places, persons or things that can be visualized on screen.
>>>intends to reclaim his ?dignity?. (Which he later learns is his masculinity.)
What’s the visual for “dignity”?? What does “his masculinity” look like? The elements of a logline should map to a visualized object, moment or scene in the film. In terms of cinema. “reclaiming dignity and masculinity” refer to subjective needs.
The logline seems to bury the plot. 21 out of 28 words are about the setup for the plot, only 7 about the plot, the “fun and games” time (a la? the “Save the Cat” paradigm) that happens as a consequence.? And then only indirectly, in terms of? what the deceased’s family does, not in terms of what the main character must do.
See lessRHSC (red-headed step child)
Richiev, as usual, cuts to the chase. However, if the color of the child's hair matters to the plot, if it is a triggering element in the inciting incident (for some irrational reason, it provokes the antagonist), then perhaps it needs to be an element of the logline.
Richiev, as usual, cuts to the chase.
However, if the color of the child’s hair matters to the plot, if it is a triggering element in the inciting incident (for some irrational reason, it provokes the antagonist), then perhaps it needs to be an element of the logline.
See lessA frustrated California high-school senior navigates her final year as she struggles to earn a place at an East Coast college and gain some independence from her overbearing mother.
This is the kind of film that's easier to get made after a writer is established in the industry, after the writer is known as Greta Gerwig instead of Greta Who?? The story checks all the boxes for just about all the tropes in the coming of age genre.:Has identity issues (hence, the name "Lady Bird"Read more
This is the kind of film that’s easier to get made after a writer is established in the industry, after the writer is known as Greta Gerwig instead of Greta Who?? The story checks all the boxes for just about all the tropes in the coming of age genre.:
Has identity issues (hence, the name “Lady Bird”) — check.
Hates high school, floundering in her classes –check.
But interested in drama and the arts–check.
Does drugs–check.
Loses her virginity and it’s underwhelming — double check.
Is ashamed of her folks, hides her socio-economic status by getting dropped off in a classier neighborhood–check
Fights with her mom–check.
So what stands out as a distinguishing feature?? Well, there’s the highly conflicted daughter-mother relationship.? There’s the opening bookend scene where the daughter deliberately falls out a moving car to get away from (another) argument with her mom.? And the closing bookend scene where she must leave a voicemail.
So I diddled with a version that plays with the clashing temperaments:
A stubborn high-school senior desperate to escape Sacramento, attend college on the East Coast must overcome the objections of her strong-willed mother who insists she attend a local one.
(30 words)
More steak than sizzle.? But there it is.
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