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A jealous mediocre court composer blocks the career and plots the death of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
As Adam Bernstr?m said , Antonio Salieri is the protagonist.? The plot is framed by his confession to a priest years after Mozart's death .? He has been committed? to an insane asylum after a suicide attempt.?It's a biography of Mozart's told from the pov of a jealous rival determined to destroy himRead more
As Adam Bernstr?m said , Antonio Salieri is the protagonist.? The plot is framed by his confession to a priest years after Mozart’s death .? He has been committed? to an insane asylum after a suicide attempt.?
It’s a biography of Mozart’s told from the pov of a jealous rival determined to destroy him.? Without that framing device, the film would just be a string of pearls, excerpts from a few hits by one of the world’s greatest composers.
Also the plot is driven by a powerful thematic dialectic between a temperate man who tries so hard but can only write mediocre, formulaic fare while the intemperate Moazart doesn’t have to try at all; great music flows out of his mind effortlessly.? Salieri despises the man — but worships his music.
See lessA teenager must confront the father she put in prison before he wreacks havoc on her life and ruins her first chance at love.
I agree with yqwertz that in the broader scheme of life,? the fate of a teenage crush is not a big deal.? But for a teenager living through that moment, it feels like a big deal. So the question I have is: will the viewing audience feel the same way as the character does?I dunno.? I still am not cleRead more
I agree with yqwertz that in the broader scheme of life,? the fate of a teenage crush is not a big deal.? But for a teenager living through that moment, it feels like a big deal. So the question I have is: will the viewing audience feel the same way as the character does?
I dunno.? I still am not clear as to what the story is about, what the controlling idea is that organizes and drives the plot.? And as noted “keep her life on the level’ is vague.? And she only “tries” when she needs to do.? Do something specific, concrete.? But do what? And why?
One of my m.o.’s for evaluating a logline is to look for clues as which of three primary psychological needs (as defined by SDTM — Self-Determination Theory and Motivation model) motivates the protagonist, which is also to say, the plot. The Big Three are: 1] The need for autonomy or agency; 2] the need for competency or mastery; and 3] the need for relationship, to love and be loved.
To be sure, the teenage girl is driven by a need for autonomy, the need to declare her independence from her parent. That need is a genre defining feature of a coming of age story. (Where is her mother in this, btw?)
It is also seems evident she needs to work out a relationship with a father. But that need conflicts with her desire to build a relationship with a guy.
Well, if you’re going to frame a plot in terms of a character triangulation, (teenager, father, boyfriend) then I suggest the logline ought to offer a clue as to a defining contrast, a polarity between the father and the guy. We know the dad is damaged goods.? But right now the guy is just a cipher, a plot prop. We have no clue as why she is crushing him. What is there about him that appeals to her, that her father is not?
fwiw
See lessWhen King George III descends into madness, court physicians attempt to cure him with torturous remedies while his dissolute son conspires to usurp the throne.
The madness behind my method:? My initial logline was:When King George III descends into madness, his dissolute son conspires to usurp the throne. (15 words) I focused on the rivalry between father and son.But then I asked myself: is that really the story hook? Is that the "sizzle". I decided it thaRead more
The madness behind my method:? My initial logline was:
When King George III descends into madness, his dissolute son conspires to usurp the throne. (15 words) I focused on the rivalry between father and son.
But then I asked myself: is that really the story hook? Is that the “sizzle”. I decided it that the “sizzle”,? the really interesting “fun and games” feature (per Blake Snyder) was the gawdawful treatments the court physicians inflicted upon the monarch. Those measures now seem so primitive, so ludicrous, so inhumane, so, well “insane” — but they constituted the state of the art of medicine in the late 18th century. (Modern conjectures are that King George III suffered from porphyria, a metabolic disorder.)
So I appended that story thread to the logline:
When King George III descends into madness, his dissolute son conspires to usurp the throne while court physicians attempt to cure the king with torturous remedies.
Then I revised it again putting the medical treatment in the middle of the plot because it does get more screen time than the dissolute son’s court intrigues and, again, because it’s the stronger story hook.
See less