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  1. Posted: February 16, 2017In: Drama

    In order to get a job as a zookeeper, a former prostitute must convince the owners of an idyllic wildlife shelter to release their genetically valuable tiger to a questionable city zoo.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 18, 2017 at 1:16 am

    >>I?m pretty sure i should leave the prostitute thing out of the logline, because it?s such a big word that gets so much attention that the actual story is pushed away.Yep, it's a 'hot' word that stands out from the rest of the text like the emergency red lights ?on a patrol car or ambulance.Read more

    >>I?m pretty sure i should leave the prostitute thing out of the logline, because it?s such a big word that gets so much attention that the actual story is pushed away.

    Yep, it’s a ‘hot’ word that stands out from the rest of the text like the emergency red lights ?on a patrol car or ambulance. ? It grabs attention from everything else in the concept.

    Maybe she could be a divorced mother, recovering from a violently abusive relationship.

    Then , in my mind, there is the matter of possibility versus probability. ?While anything is theoretically possible in a script, given the context ?of a particular story, is it probable — believable? ?Specifically to this story, in times past, in a less enlightened and humane context, it was more probable that zoo animals were subject to abuse.

    But in modern times, zoos (in developed countries anyway) ?are supposed to be managed with more enlightened and human policies and by better trained keepers. ?So how probable is it that a ?trophy animal such as tiger would be subject to abuse? ?( Look at what happened recently at Sea World. ?The management finally saw the light and discontinued the show for their trophy animal, ?their biggest money maker, killer whales, because of realization — and bad PR — that they were abusing and exploiting the animals.)

    If ?there are stories of such abuse in ?contemporary zoo management — okay. ?I’m just not aware of it is a probable cause.

    Just saying.

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  2. Posted: February 16, 2017In: Drama

    In order to get a job as a zookeeper, a former prostitute must convince the owners of an idyllic wildlife shelter to release their genetically valuable tiger to a questionable city zoo.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 18, 2017 at 12:24 am

    While I find some interesting ingredients in your concept, I'm not so sure about the recipe to mix them ?together for an appetizing film.>>Actually it is not really about overcoming the emotional scars, it?s more about finding the strength to keep doing the right thing, regardless of the circuRead more

    While I find some interesting ingredients in your concept, I’m not so sure about the recipe to mix them ?together for an appetizing film.

    >>Actually it is not really about overcoming the emotional scars, it?s more about finding the strength to keep doing the right thing, regardless of the circumstances.

    I suggest it could and should be about both — that’s her character arc. ?What is a character arc, anyway? ?It’s the journey a character takes from a negative state to a positive one (or from positive to negative in a tragedy). ? The former is necessary to add emotional depth to her struggle for the latter.

    One thing that “The Pursuit of Happyness” had going for it was that it is based upon the real life struggle of a real person. ?It rings with authenticity. ?Is your story based upon the real life struggle of a real person? ?If not, have you been able to do the research to become knowledgeable with both the world she is trying to escape. prostitution, and the world she is trying to enter, tending animals in a zoo?

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  3. Posted: February 16, 2017In: Drama

    In order to get a job as a zookeeper, a former prostitute must convince the owners of an idyllic wildlife shelter to release their genetically valuable tiger to a questionable city zoo.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 17, 2017 at 2:15 am

    Loemoemba:You're right, I didn't pick up on it immediately. ? One reason is that looking for an?"honorable job" ?is an understatement, sets the stakes too low. ?Bigger stakes, the Biggest Stakes for her, is that she is looking for an escape route to a new life. ?In fighting for the animal, she's figRead more

    Loemoemba:

    You’re right, I didn’t pick up on it immediately. ? One reason is that looking for an?”honorable job” ?is an understatement, sets the stakes too low. ?Bigger stakes, the Biggest Stakes for her, is that she is looking for an escape route to a new life. ?In fighting for the animal, she’s fighting for her own life.

    So I suggest the logline be framed around the hook, the idea, character or situation that instantly?grabs and holds a reader’s attention. ?And it seems to me that the hook for this story is a prostitute struggling to rescue herself by rescuing animals who are like her, abused and discarded as hopeless, beyond redemption.

    Why a tiger? ?Does it have to be that exotic? ?Is it possible for the setting to be only the animal shelter? ?Where all she can initially get is volunteer or temp work? ?And becomes ?committed to saving the life abused and rejected ?pets. ?One in particular. ?A pathetic, hopeless animal doomed for extermination.

    Anyway, I think you have the raw material for an interesting, dare I venture, marketable character study/human interest drama. ?Best wishes.

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