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When an engaged CEO has a reunion with her student friends, she meets her then-lover and they fall in love again, but she has to make a decision before leaving the town in four days.
Start a new life abroad with or without her old flame? ?He's the cause of the inciting incident. ?How does he figure into her fleeing abroad? ?That needs to be clarified.(Fleeing to another country seems to me to be a weak choice to solve her predicament. ?But I'll hold fire on that point for now beRead more
Start a new life abroad with or without her old flame? ?He’s the cause of the inciting incident. ?How does he figure into her fleeing abroad? ?That needs to be clarified.
(Fleeing to another country seems to me to be a weak choice to solve her predicament. ?But I’ll hold fire on that point for now because it’s kosher for a protagonist to initially have the wrong objective goal. ?Only to finally realize it, and make a stronger choice.)
I agree with Nir Shelter that “making a decision” is mostly internal. ?The solution to that is ?easy enough: externalize it by having her bounce her decision making process off of reflector characters.
But I diverge on the point that ?her decision “will take very little time to make”. ?If it’s a true dramatic dilemma , it could take a lot of time to make. ?Because by definition a dilemma is a situation where she must choose between two equally ?desirable options or two equally undesirable options. ?And she must choose either of them. She can’t choose to not choose.
And I think it must be a true dilemma in order ?to maximize dramatic tension and suspense. ?If it isn’t a true dilemma, if it’s easy for her decide to dump her fiancee, cancel the wedding, ?then the plot is about what happens after she makes that decision.
So what is the story about? ?Working through the dilemma and making (finally) a choice? ?Or making an easy choice and acting on the consequences?
See lessTwo dim-witted best friends battle the internet and their conservative town to keep their porn shop open.
Dim witted indeed. I don't see how they can battle the internet, access to which is ubiquitous. ?In order to make this premise more viable, it seems to me it needs to describe a specific battle plan, not just suggest general battle. ?What is their specific battle plan to compete with the internet?
Dim witted indeed. I don’t see how they can battle the internet, access to which is ubiquitous. ?In order to make this premise more viable, it seems to me it needs to describe a specific battle plan, not just suggest general battle. ?What is their specific battle plan to compete with the internet?
See lessAfter a robber kills his mother new years eve, a depressed scientist tries to convince his country that the only way to make the world a safer place for all would be to get rid of money.
Nocturnedk:As Nir Shelter said.I've said my piece on the substance of your story. ? I remain dubious, but if it sells , I will be happy to be the 1st one to offer congratulations.Best wishes.
Nocturnedk:
As Nir Shelter said.
I’ve said my piece on the substance of your story. ? I remain dubious, but if it sells , I will be happy to be the 1st one to offer congratulations.
Best wishes.
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