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Nia wakes after dying in an unknown realm, and learns she must uncover how she died. Being partnered with a man who won?t even talk to her, she must work with new allies and overcome hardships with her partner in order to save them all from the crumbling leadership threatening their existence.
The logline still lacks a clear, concise, specific statement of what the story is about.A logline should describe a plot. ?And a plot is about a protagonist pursuing one objective goal. ? Not two objective goals, but one. This logline describes a protagonist with two objective goals: ?1] she must unRead more
The logline still lacks a clear, concise, specific statement of what the story is about.
A logline should describe a plot. ?And a plot is about a protagonist pursuing one objective goal. ? Not two objective goals, but one. This logline describes a protagonist with two objective goals: ?1] she must uncover how she died., and 2] she must save some people from a vague failure of leadership.
Why must she find out how she died? ?What difference will it make? ?What will it change? (A plot is always about change.) ?Will it able her to undo her death? ?What’s at stake?
How must she save them from a “crumbling leadership threatening their existence”? ?Exactly what is the threat to their existence? And again, what is at stake if she fails to do whatever she’s supposed to do?
What is the one is the objective goal that drives the plot? Pick one?and build the plot and logline around it.
See lesswhen he meets the girl of his dreams, be spite being with someone else, the monophobic Henric must decide if he wants the girl, or if he wants to stay with his girlfriend, at the same time as learning to sing so he can propose to his girlfriend, and the one teaching him is his girl of his dreams
As Nir Shelter said. ?At 59 words in length this logline is too long and too confusing to figure out. ?A logline needs to be ?concise statement ?that clearly informs a reader what the story is about. Further, a plot is not about having to make this or that decision -- two hours of ?a protagonist vacRead more
As Nir Shelter said. ?At 59 words in length this logline is too long and too confusing to figure out. ?A logline needs to be ?concise statement ?that clearly informs a reader what the story is about.
Further, a plot is not about having to make this or that decision — two hours of ?a protagonist vacillating with indecision ? A plot is about a protagonist who as a result of an inciting incident makes a decision to pursue a specific objective goal, and how that pursuit plays out, right or wrong, for better or worse.
See lessTo find peace in herself, a girl must learn the ways of this new world and discover how she arrived. Those closest to her are the main suspects, and they will create hurdles to overcome.
A logline is a concise statement that defines a protagonist motivated by an inciting incident to achieve a?clearly defined?objective goal. ?What is the inciting incident of this story?As a consequence of the inciting incident, what becomes her objective goal? ?"To find peace in herself" is a subjectRead more
A logline is a concise statement that defines a protagonist motivated by an inciting incident to achieve a?clearly defined?objective goal. ?
What is the inciting incident of this story?
As a consequence of the inciting incident, what becomes her objective goal? ?”To find peace in herself” is a subjective issue but for the purpose of a logline it is not an objective goal. ? Further, “must learn the ways of this new world and discover how she arrived” is too vague to qualify as a ?clearly ?defined objective girl. ?(And what exactly does “this new world” refer to anyway?)
“Those closest to her are the main suspects” — main suspects in what? ?The cause of her lack of inner peace? ?Exactly what threat do they pose to her? ?What “hurdles” do they throw in her way?
What is a defining characteristic of the protagonist that makes her an interesting character, one whose plot journey an audience would want to follow?
The logline needs to include an inciting incident for a defined protagonist and state a clearly defined objective goal. ? Please check out “Training” at the top of the web page for guidelines on crafting an industry standard logline.
fwiw
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