Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Present day: After his mother is accidentally killed during a father-son quarrel, a young martial artist must find his long-lost uncle – to explain his mother’s dying words, while he is relentlessly pursued by his father, a martial arts master who has vowed to kill him.
I still have no idea what the stakes are in delivering the message.? Why the message matters.By stakes, I means it's not enough that the boy finds some kind of absolution, penance for his guilt, compensation for his remorse, by successfully delivering the message.? The father also needs to have stakRead more
I still have no idea what the stakes are in delivering the message.? Why the message matters.
By stakes, I means it’s not enough that the boy finds some kind of absolution, penance for his guilt, compensation for his remorse, by successfully delivering the message.? The father also needs to have stakes in the message.
The message must contain either information that poses a mortal threat to the father;? or it contains information the father covets for his own nefarious purpose.? Or both.
IOW: the content of the message should be a kind of a McGuffin — something all the major characters desperately want, that all have a personal stake in.
The logline doesn’t indicate that the father wants to kill the son BECAUSE of the content of the message and its intended recipient, that he has any stakes in the message at all.? The logline only says the father wants him dead.? What does the father have to lose if the son succeeds in delivering the message?
Consider the movie “1917”.?? Two soldiers must race against time to deliver a message to stop 1,600 men from walking straight into a deadly trap.? Unambiguous high stakes for all involved.? And the stakes are personal, too.? One of the 1,600 is a soldier’s brother.
See lessAfter a heart attack on his highschool graduation, an obese mama’s boy sets off to lose a hundred pounds before starting college, in the hopes of getting laid and avoiding an early grave.
I like the concept.? It has a lot of comedic potential because losing weight will not only require him to give up all the junk food he loves, but it will require a major lifestyle overhaul.But:In comedy a writer has some license to stretch reality.? But losing a 100 pounds between high school graduaRead more
I like the concept.? It has a lot of comedic potential because losing weight will not only require him to give up all the junk food he loves, but it will require a major lifestyle overhaul.
But:
In comedy a writer has some license to stretch reality.? But losing a 100 pounds between high school graduation and the start of college?? How credible is that?
Let’s do that math:? the time between high school graduation and the start of college is 90-100 days,? right?? That means he has to lose about 1 pound a day, every day.? That would only be possible? if he literally starved himself –zero calories a day, only water and vitamins.? In his obviously, weak condition ,such a diet could kill him with other health complications.
So I suggest the 100 day time frame is not credible. I suggest a more credible, more realistic deadline would be New Years.? Something like:
After a heart attack at his high school graduation, an obese mama’s boy struggles to lose a hundred pounds by New Years in order to live — and get laid.
Whatever, “–and get laid” is the button beat, the words the logline should end? on.
fwiw
See lessPresent day: After his mother is accidentally killed during a father-son quarrel, a young martial artist must find his long-lost uncle – to explain his mother’s dying words, while he is relentlessly pursued by his father, a martial arts master who has vowed to kill him.
I can see what the stakes are in terms of saving his own life, but what are the stakes in explaining his mother's dying words?? Why MUST he not only live but explain??? What is lost if he lives but never gets the chance to explain?
I can see what the stakes are in terms of saving his own life, but what are the stakes in explaining his mother’s dying words?? Why MUST he not only live but explain??? What is lost if he lives but never gets the chance to explain?
See less