Re: I personally believe that intrigue is important in a logline.

The primary mission of a logline is to pitch the script, to induce movie makers to read the script.? It has to be kind of intrigue that serves as an irresistible story hook.? Right now, I’m more puzzled than intrigued. That’s my subjective response.? Other readers may respond differently.

RE: an emotional journey,

…to fulfill an objective goal.? (The stakes of which are deficient as I previously noted.)

Beg to differ with your analysis of the “The Fugitive” (a favorite film, btw).

RE: as he comes to terms with the brutal murder of his wife.

What does “come to terms mean”?? What’s the visual for “come to terms”?

RE:? from circumstantial guilt to proven innocent

A rather passive representation of the plot action.? Richard Kimble has a specific objective goal: to prove he is innocent. And the only way he can do that is to ferret out the real perp.? He’s the only one interested in proving his innocence, finding the perp.?? The U.S. Marshal isn’t.? He says so more than once:? “I don’t care.”

As soon as Kimble escapes (at the end of Act 1), he sets out to do exactly that.? He proactively returns to Chicago and proactively pursues clues to find his wife’s killer. He is the main character — and he’s the protagonist.? He’s in the driver’s seat of the plot.? The U.S. marshal is in the driver’s seat of the pursuing vehicle.

And the stakes for Kimble are clear:? He must prove his innocence or else he will be executed.

And Kimble is a steadfast protagonist:? he has no strong character arc. The character arc belongs to the U.S. Marshal; he is the character who eventually changes his objective and opinion of Kimble because of what he discovers. The U.S. Marshal starts out as the antagonist.? A relentless proactive antagonist.? His objective goal is to apprehend Kimble — not prove Kimble’s? innocence.? He pivots only in the last act when he comes upon evidence that indicates Kimble may, indeed, be innocent.

Whatever.? It’s your story.? I’ve said my 2.5 cents worth.