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A Gladiator Winner searches for his banished parents to re-take the throne from his own blood after learning he was left for dead
And then what happens? ?The logline sets up a situation, an inciting incident for a plot, but does not indicate what the plot is. What becomes his objective goal as a result of the discovery?The story has echoes of the ancient Greek myth of Oedipus. ?You might want to study how Sophocles solved theRead more
And then what happens? ?The logline sets up a situation, an inciting incident for a plot, but does not indicate what the plot is. What becomes his objective goal as a result of the discovery?
The story has echoes of the ancient Greek myth of Oedipus. ?You might want to study how Sophocles solved the problem of ?framing a plot for the myth in his tragic masterpiece “Oedipus the King”.
fwiw
See lessA terminally ill girl stops taking her medication to end her suffering, only to feel better discovering she is a victim of her mother’s munchausen by proxy
CraigDGriffiths: I think this has the makings for a compelling psychological drama. ?Alas, it is also presents challenges to summarizing in a logline. ?How I might formulate a logline depends on what is conceived to be the inciting incident. One option is that after suffering for years with a painfuRead more
CraigDGriffiths:
I think this has the makings for a compelling psychological drama. ?Alas, it is also presents challenges to summarizing in a logline. ?How I might formulate a logline depends on what is conceived to be the inciting incident.
One option is that after suffering for years with a painful, mysterious illness (setup), the doctor tells the girl it’s hopeless, she will never recover, probably die an early death (Inciting Incident). Her End of Act 1 Decision is to put herself out of her misery, stop taking the medication, die sooner rather than later. ? Early Act 2: ?and then contrary to her expectation, she gets better, ?completely recovers.
Another option is to open with an Inciting Incident where ?she refuses to take her medication because she’s tired of suffering, wants to put herself out of her misery. ?Through the rest of Act 1 she wavers as arguments and tests of will ensue, but her End of Act One Decision is to adamantly refuse to take medication; no one can make her change her mind. ?Early Act 2: ?contrary to her expectation, she gets better, completely recovers.
Either way, I would not have her quit because she suspects she’s being deliberately poisoned. ?That should be the mid or late Act 2 Big Reveal , ?the shocking truth she discovers after she’s in complete remission.
What do you conceive as being the inciting incident?
See lessA savvy, overly confident uni student sets up a food delivery business as a front for drug trafficking, but when his operation is exposed he fakes his death on a hiking trip, but one detective won?t accept his disappearance until the search reveals his body, dead or alive.
Gstar: >>I did intend for the student to be the protagonist, but I see your point, I was intending his operation to be one that sells drugs that are ?tested? for safety and comes with support for addiction and safe usage, so a dealer with a social conscience and one that is operating in a systRead more
Gstar:
>>I did intend for the student to be the protagonist, but I see your point, I was intending his operation to be one that sells drugs that are ?tested? for safety and comes with support for addiction and safe usage, so a dealer with a social conscience and one that is operating in a system where drugs are legal.
Oh.
Still, I agree with Nir Shelter. Since when did enabling other people’s drug habits — and profiting from their addiction– become a manifestation of a “social conscience”? ?What is there about the young man that will make a movie audience sympathize with is choices, perhaps relatable with his struggle?
And if he’s not sympathetic, relatable, then there needs to be something compelling in his lifestyle and fascinating in his character that makes people want to watch anyway. ?Like Tony Montana is in “Scarface”. ?Tony Montana is a compelling character because he is so ruthless, fearless. ?He’s not the kind of guy who would disappear, fake his death when his operation is threatened. ?He’s the kind of guy who stands his ground, introduces his adversaries to his “little friend”.
And, again, as written the logline seems to give the 2nd half of the story to the detective. ?Who is in the driver’s seat of the plot? ?Who owns this story? ?The student or the detective?
All that said, ?I would be interested in a story where the young man is so naive and deluded to sincerely think that he?s acting with a social conscience. (After all he is “overly confident”. ?Overly confident about what? ?That he’s doing the right thing? ?That he won’t get caught? ?Both?) The logical, causal outcome being that reality bites in the form of the eventual realization of the ?consequences of his naivete and reckless confidence, how he has contributed to so much suffering.
Reality could also bite in the form of the police coming after him ?? the nemesis he has richly earned. ?In Greek tragedy, nemesis was the goddess of revenge, retribution, who punishes those guilty of hubris, of being ?overly confident?.
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