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Revised Logline……When an introverted player from a footy obsessed family, is cut from the team, he joins the cheerleading squad, despite being bullied, he competes at the National Championships, losing his chance of a scholarship but gaining the love of his life.
Also, a logline should never give away how the story ends.
Also, a logline should never give away how the story ends.
See lessA girl trifles with the dark arts during her mother’s career defining moment.
If you haven't already done so, it is highly recommended that you check out the "Training " section listed at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to build an industry standard logline. ?Also one of our power participants, Richiev, recently posted some useful suggestions.One issue with thisRead more
If you haven’t already done so, it is highly recommended that you check out the “Training ” section listed at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to build an industry standard logline. ?Also one of our power participants, Richiev, recently posted some useful suggestions.
One issue with this logline is that “trifles with the dark arts” while suggestive lacks specificity as to what the girl’s plot objective is. ?A logline should state a specific objective goal that the protagonist is pursuing. Also it is unclear what risk or danger or obstacle “during her mother’s career defining moment” poses, even what it means. ?What is her mother’s career, anyway?
And the logline should include an inciting incident. ?What is the event that motivates the girl to dabble in the dark arts NOW?
Hope this helps.
See lessDavid, a young aspiring drummer growing up in the 1980s struggles through the challenges of adolescence and finds that friendship, music, and the human spirit are the mightiest weapons of all.
First of all, there is no need to name the protagonist. ?More important is to include an adjective (or two) indicating his defining characteristic or flaw.Second, the purpose of a logline is to define a specific plot for the protagonist. ?"Struggles through the challenges of adolescence" isn't speciRead more
First of all, there is no need to name the protagonist. ?More important is to include an adjective (or two) indicating his defining characteristic or flaw.
Second, the purpose of a logline is to define a specific plot for the protagonist. ?”Struggles through the challenges of adolescence” isn’t specific given that ALL teens struggle through the challenges of adolescence. ?What is the specific, unique and compelling challenge and struggle facing this teen?
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