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After giving a tape showing a ritual killing to a deputy. Both the tape and the deputy go missing. When he finds more tapes he needs to get them to the police and survive attacks from unknown individuals. PS: small town, he thinks the cops are involved.
In the Internet age, wouldn't it be a video disk rather than a tape? ?Or maybe a video file on a smartphone? (Stories, unless set in the dark ages before the Internet, need be updated with the current technology.)
In the Internet age, wouldn’t it be a video disk rather than a tape? ?Or maybe a video file on a smartphone? (Stories, unless set in the dark ages before the Internet, need be updated with the current technology.)
See lessA good father and respected police officer is prisoned after he accidentally shot a young child, who was in the driving away robber?s car. He is trying to get his life back with a support of citizens of his city.
He can't go to prison unless tried and convicted in court. ?That, it seems to me, is how the story might better be situated, in a courtroom rather than a prison. ?His legal fight is to prove his innocence in a court of law, to ?win a verdict of "not guilty" from a jury of his peers, his community.WhRead more
He can’t go to prison unless tried and convicted in court. ?That, it seems to me, is how the story might better be situated, in a courtroom rather than a prison. ?His legal fight is to prove his innocence in a court of law, to ?win a verdict of “not guilty” from a jury of his peers, his community.
What would be his?specific game plan to win his freedom from prison? ? What can he do except rely on a lawyer to keep filing the paper work for appeals?
fwiw
See lessThe webseries follows grief-stricken Jason Moore, a teenager whose parents have been killed as a result of a deadly disease spreading like wildfire, caused by a cosmic entity known as the Plague Doctor. Now, he plans to survive in a world where fifteen sixteenths of the population have passed on, and by the end, plans to kill the Plague Doctor, thus ending the Modern Plague once and for all.
Seems to me, in 20 words, the story distills down to:A teenager must defeat a?mysterious cosmic entity on the verge of exterminating the human race with an incurable plague.(As a rule, loglines doen't name a protagonist (or other characters). ?Rather it describes the protagonist in terms of a characRead more
Seems to me, in 20 words, the story distills down to:
A teenager must defeat a?mysterious cosmic entity on the verge of exterminating the human race with an incurable plague.
(As a rule, loglines doen’t name a protagonist (or other characters). ?Rather it describes the protagonist in terms of a character flaw and/or a distinguishing character strength. )
I realize this version is devoid of all the pizzazz and wow! you conceived for the story. ?A logline has a way of doing it, stripping stories down to the bare bones. ?But in doing it so, it often reveals that the bones of the story — the plot elements — are not well connected or not all there or broken. ? So a logline is not just a sales tool, it is also a diagnostic tool .
It seems to me that “grief-stricken” is an insufficient description of the character. ?Of course, he’s grief-stricken. ?So is everyone else. ?What the logline needs, what the character needs, is a defining strength, something he has that the remaining fraction of humanity doesn’t have. ?A certain plus-factor that gives him ?a fighting chance against overwhelming odds to defeat the cosmic entity. ?What is it?
fwiw
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