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  1. Posted: August 24, 2016In: Comedy

    A girl trifles with the dark arts during her mother’s career defining moment.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 25, 2016 at 6:26 am

    sdanzig:So there's a girl for a protagonist. ??What's her subjective need, her initial dramatic problem? ?It seems she wants more quality time from her mom. ?She's feeling neglected. (If anything it's the mom with the salient character flaw.)What's her solution to her perceived problem? ?Her dabblinRead more

    sdanzig:

    So there’s a girl for a protagonist. ??What’s her subjective need, her initial dramatic problem? ?It seems she wants more quality time from her mom. ?She’s feeling neglected. (If anything it’s the mom with the salient character flaw.)

    What’s her solution to her perceived problem? ?Her dabbling in the dark arts can start out as accidental, ?but what is casual needs to become causal. ?Her blundering, such as it might be, has to be out of desperation. ?The extant to which she ?experiment with dark magic is the measure of her extremity, her emotional need.

    So exactly how does she intend to use dark magic to win more affection and quality time from her mom? What is her game plan?

    A tried and true method is to devising an objective goal is to frame the story with an upcoming event or milestone. ?Like Xmas, high school graduation, a sweet 16 birthday, a bat mitzvah, a quincea?era. ?Whatever it is it, it is most important and meaningful event to that girl at that moment in her life. ?And her mom’s job is threatening to ruin that event.

    Be specific, be concrete. ?What is her most important want in terms of an object or an event? ?What must she possess or experience RIGHT NOW? ?Exactly what is her game plan to get it? ?The game plan can go hilariously awry, it can be a game plan for the wrong goal. ?But she needs a game plan to strive toward an objective goal.

    fwiw

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  2. Posted: August 23, 2016In: Examples

    An aging radical’s suicide reunites seven of his college cohorts to mourn and reflect on the gap between their youthful ideals and their middle-aged conformity.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 25, 2016 at 6:04 am

    No doubt, the characters are rationalizing how they've compromised their youthful idealism. There was ?movie that predated "The Big Chill" and that is "The Return of the Secaucus Seven" made in 1979 by John Sayles that explored the same theme. ?Sayle's movie is about a holiday reunion of ?7 friends,Read more

    No doubt, the characters are rationalizing how they’ve compromised their youthful idealism.

    There was ?movie that predated “The Big Chill” and that is “The Return of the Secaucus Seven” made in 1979 by John Sayles that explored the same theme. ?Sayle’s movie is about a holiday reunion of ?7 friends, who 10 years earlier as radical college students, ?were arrested on their way to a protest in Washington DC. ?Some say Sayle’s movie served as the inspiration for Lawrence Kasdan to write “The Big Chill”.

    I don’t know about that but both writers were obviously attuned to the emerging zeitgeist of the Baby Boomer generation in the United States, the realization that they had ?been “co-opted” by the system.

    However, I’m not sure I would use the phrase “must help each other”. ? What are the stakes? ?What would have happened if they had failed to buy into their own rationalizations? ?Would they have committed collective suicide in sympathy and empathy for their dead comrade? ?Not a chance. ?Would they have jettison their material success and re-committed to a life of radical struggle for social justice? ?Not a chance.

    Come to think about it, there’s nothing much at stake other than the chagrin of confessing some unpleasant realities about themselves and and the world. ?They mourn the death of their idealism and go living their lives of non-radical conformity, taking comfort in the?affluent?lifestyle their conformity affords them.

    But in that respect, the movie was in tune with the temper of the times. ? Certainly there was a large audience of aging Boomers who could ?identify with their midlife predicament. ?Good enough to make the movie a box-office hit.

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  3. Posted: August 24, 2016In: Thriller

    A young spirited girl acts as guardian to her transgender friend as they go through the tribulations of a small town society. On one unbelievable evening and at great cost the girl transcends as a savior and etches her passion of friendship in time and memory.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 25, 2016 at 4:12 am

    As the others said. The ?protagonist's cause is a worthy one, but, alas, the logline frames a setup, a situation for a plot, but not an actual plot. ?It's long on hyperbole "unbelievable", "at great cost", "transcends". "etchers her passion", but ?short on specifics. You might want to study the guidRead more

    As the others said.

    The ?protagonist’s cause is a worthy one, but, alas, the logline frames a setup, a situation for a plot, but not an actual plot. ?It’s long on hyperbole “unbelievable”, “at great cost”, “transcends”. “etchers her passion”, but ?short on specifics.

    You might want to study the guidelines for constructing an industry standard logline under “Training” at the top of the web page.

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