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  1. Posted: July 26, 2016In: Action

    After she’s betrayed doing a one time mission for the government, a broke data smuggler must decode the data packet encrypted in her brain to use as a bargaining chip for her life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    As CraigDGriffiths said. ?What is the want? ?Why has she undertaken such a dangerous and unusual assignment? ? What's in it ?for her?And in the current version, the story seems to turn on actions of the smuggler, not the transporter. ?Working out the solution to the dramatic problem is the protagoniRead more

    As CraigDGriffiths said. ?What is the want? ?Why has she undertaken such a dangerous and unusual assignment? ? What’s in it ?for her?

    And in the current version, the story seems to turn on actions of the smuggler, not the transporter. ?Working out the solution to the dramatic problem is the protagonist’s job.. ?Which would seem to make the smuggler the protagonist, not the transporter.

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  2. Posted: July 27, 2016In: Thriller

    An art thief must survive an auction where a masked killer hunts the bidders for their secret sins.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    And why would a movie audience be rooting for the art thief to survive? ?Seems like he has it coming to him. And if the killer is masked, wouldn't he immediately stand out in the crowd of bidders, raise an alarm? ?Shouldn't he be skulking around unobtrusively, nothing special to draw attention to hiRead more

    And why would a movie audience be rooting for the art thief to survive? ?Seems like he has it coming to him.

    And if the killer is masked, wouldn’t he immediately stand out in the crowd of bidders, raise an alarm? ?Shouldn’t he be skulking around unobtrusively, nothing special to draw attention to him or raise alarm?

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  3. Posted: July 27, 2016In: SciFi

    When her mad-scientist sister finds a way to channel through to her autistic son’s mind, a desperate mother finds out it eventually let a door open to another realm.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 27, 2016 at 12:05 pm

    As Dkpough1 said the logline describes a situation for a possible plot, but not a plot. ?As a result of her sister being able to access her autistic son's mind, what becomes her objective goal? ?What does she want to do about it? And does her sister have to be a "mad scientist"? ?What's the point? ?Read more

    As Dkpough1 said the logline describes a situation for a possible plot, but not a plot. ?As a result of her sister being able to access her autistic son’s mind, what becomes her objective goal? ?What does she want to do about it?

    And does her sister have to be a “mad scientist”? ?What’s the point? ?Why can’t the sister be a normal person who discovers she has an extraordinary ability?

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