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  1. Posted: July 17, 2016In: Horror

    Roseline is running to protect her way of life because of her unwanted unborn child. She finds a way to keep her world by making a deal with a cult to rid her of the child but unbeknownst to her, the child lives as a spirit. This spirit, Atlas, loves his mother but soon he finds the truth behind her actions and is sent spiraling into confusion and rage.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 17, 2016 at 5:40 am

    At 69 words, the logline is too long to ?qualify as acceptable by industry standards and conventions. ?As the guidelines under "Training" at the top of the web page suggest, the ideal length for a logline is in the range of 25 words.Another error in the logline is that characters are named. ?With thRead more

    At 69 words, the logline is too long to ?qualify as acceptable by industry standards and conventions. ?As the guidelines under “Training” at the top of the web page suggest, the ideal length for a logline is in the range of 25 words.

    Another error in the logline is that characters are named. ?With the exception of historical dramas, characters should not be named. ? Rather they should be described. ?Specifically, they should be ?defined in terms of a defining characteristic or character flaw.

    And, the logline should focus on one major character, the protagonist. And it should delineate an objective goal that character pursues as well as an antagonist who opposes the protagonist’s purpose. ?As it is, it’s not clear who the protagonist is in this story, the mother or the child. ?Nor is it clear what the objective goal is, nor the stakes.

    Please review the guidelines under “Training” and simplify and shorten accordingly.

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  2. Posted: July 14, 2016In: Thriller

    After being attacked by a distressed mother of an obsessed fan, a girl band must escape their dressing room without being killed.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 15, 2016 at 11:48 am

    Could work as a comedy. ?But the designated genre is thriller.

    Could work as a comedy. ?But the designated genre is thriller.

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  3. Posted: July 15, 2016In: SciFi

    Robots were not the cause of mankind’s destruction. Instead, they will attempt to bring us back from extinction.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 15, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Interesting concept. ?But it needs to be fleshed out as others have noted with a protagonist who has a goal and an opposing character or obstacle who jeopardizes the protagonist's effort. ?The stakes are clear enough: the survival of homo sapiens.

    Interesting concept. ?But it needs to be fleshed out as others have noted with a protagonist who has a goal and an opposing character or obstacle who jeopardizes the protagonist’s effort. ?The stakes are clear enough: the survival of homo sapiens.

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