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  1. Posted: July 17, 2016In: Comedy

    REVISED: A casino waitress is in love with the scientist who accidentally made her three times bigger, but while her size leads to Vegas stardom, she must also face a blackmailing mobster and rescue the kidnapped scientist.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 18, 2016 at 7:07 am

    Among all this tangle of events, which one constitutes the inciting incident? ??Her being made 3 times larger? ?The stardom? ?Falling in love? ?Having to rescue the scientist from blackmail and kidnapping? Which event kicks off the plot? What is the plot? ?What is her singular objective goal that frRead more

    Among all this tangle of events, which one constitutes the inciting incident? ??Her being made 3 times larger? ?The stardom? ?Falling in love? ?Having to rescue the scientist from blackmail and kidnapping?

    Which event kicks off the plot?

    What is the plot? ?What is her singular objective goal that frames the story and motivates all her actions?

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  2. Posted: July 17, 2016In: Fantasy

    An elderly man, lost in a giant maze is transformed into his younger self; but when he discovers his new world is also a slave trade; he must find the Maze Master who holds the key to freedom for all.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 17, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    Maybe something like:While trapped in a time maze an elderly Black old man is rejuvenated as a teenager and finally escapes into a world where he must now escape being a slave. (30 words)Whatever. I think it's important for the stakes to be personal. ?He's not just in a world where slavery is legalRead more

    Maybe something like:

    While trapped in a time maze an elderly Black old man is rejuvenated as a teenager and finally escapes into a world where he must now escape being a slave.
    (30 words)

    Whatever. I think it’s important for the stakes to be personal. ?He’s not just in a world where slavery is legal (again)– he’s also a slave himself. ?That’s the existential trade off he incurs for being young again.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: July 13, 2016In: Thriller

    Obsessed with causality, a mathematician creates future simulation software only for it to predict he’ll die in three days unless he is prepared to kill a complete stranger, who is somehow connected to his fate, but instead he begins falling for her

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on July 17, 2016 at 6:40 am

    A woman has three days to find and kill a total stranger identified by an uncannily accurate future simulation app as?triggering a chain of events that will inevitably kill her. (31 words) or A mother has three days to find and kill a total stranger identified by an uncannily accurate future simulatRead more

    A woman has three days to find and kill a total stranger identified by an uncannily accurate future simulation app as?triggering a chain of events that will inevitably kill her.
    (31 words)
    or
    A mother has three days to find and kill a total stranger identified by an uncannily accurate future simulation app as?triggering a chain of events that will inevitably kill her infant.
    (34 words)

    Suggested title: ?The Killer App

    Notes
    :
    I suggest using the term “app”, not software, not program, not ?equation. ?Something she downloads on her smart phone.

    I changed the protagonist to a female in my periodic pitch for more starring roles for women. ?And because if you change the stakes to her infant — well, imho, that makes for an even more compelling film because now the stakes are higher; the stakes character is more helpless, vulnerable, more an innocent victim. ?And everyone can identify with and root for motherhood, the desire to protect one’s offspring.

    ?I think having a female protagonist + infant as the stakes character will enhance the appeal to the female demographic.

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