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REVISED: A casino waitress is in love with the scientist who accidentally made her three times bigger, but while her size leads to Vegas stardom, she must also face a blackmailing mobster and rescue the kidnapped scientist.
The story is billed as comedy. ?What's so funny about being blackmailed and kidnapped? ?The only potential for comedy I see is what happens after she becomes 3x bigger. ?That seems to be the gimmick, the story hook. I don't see the cause-and-effect relationship between what she has become and the blRead more
The story is billed as comedy. ?What’s so funny about being blackmailed and kidnapped? ?The only potential for comedy I see is what happens after she becomes 3x bigger. ?That seems to be the gimmick, the story hook. I don’t see the cause-and-effect relationship between what she has become and the blackmail and kidnapping that follow. The story line seems to be more of a potpourri than a plot.
See lessAn elderly man, lost in a giant maze is transformed into his younger self; but when he discovers his new world is also a slave trade; he must find the Maze Master who holds the key to freedom for all.
I presume GStar has already figured out the explanation for 1]what the maze is and 2]how the old man became lost in it. I myself would prefer a setup where the man's journey into the time maze is intentional rather than accidental. ?IOW: ?create an expectation gap. ?He dliberately enters the time poRead more
I presume GStar has already figured out the explanation for 1]what the maze is and 2]how the old man became lost in it.
I myself would prefer a setup where the man’s journey into the time maze is intentional rather than accidental. ?IOW: ?create an expectation gap. ?He dliberately enters the time portal expecting one result — a “fountain of youth effect” — emerges to discovers it works. ?Hurray!
And then the gotcha.
See lessIn a dystopic future where humanity is sterile, a disillusioned man must escort the first pregnant woman in 18 years to a safe haven.
A revised take:In a future where a plague has rendered all humanity sterile, a disillusioned drunk must deliver the first pregnant woman in 18 years to an offshore safe haven. (28 words)I'm inclined to include the cause of sterility. ?But I'm not inclined to use "mercenary".? Although he's aware it'Read more
A revised take:
In a future where a plague has rendered all humanity sterile, a disillusioned drunk must deliver the first pregnant woman in 18 years to an offshore safe haven.
(28 words)
I’m inclined to include the cause of sterility. ?But I’m not inclined to use “mercenary”.? Although he’s aware it’s a risky mission, he has no weapon, doesn’t acquire one when he agrees to undertake the mission.
However, a defining character flaw is his drinking problem, so…
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