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An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.
Agree with Zentaneous. It sets up an interesting Act 1 situation. ?Now what's the plot that arises out of the situation? ?It needs a (brief) description of Act 2 to be complete.
Agree with Zentaneous.
It sets up an interesting Act 1 situation. ?Now what’s the plot that arises out of the situation? ?It needs a (brief) description of Act 2 to be complete.
See lessWhen people in town start disappearing, a young orphan woman, searching for her parents is attacked by an alien, she discovers her father’s true origins may not be from earth.
But when does it lead to the discovery? ?When does she find out?The aliens are gonna do what aliens have gotta do whether or not she knows the truth about her father, right? ?So what difference will it make for her to know the truth?Whatever it is, it has to be more than just a shocking surprise. ??Read more
But when does it lead to the discovery? ?When does she find out?
The aliens are gonna do what aliens have gotta do whether or not she knows the truth about her father, right? ?So what difference will it make for her to know the truth?
Whatever it is, it has to be more than just a shocking surprise. ??It can’t be oh-that’s-interesting, ?or nice-to-know information. ?It must be need-to-know information. ?Information?that defines the story behind the story and what ?the protagonist must do. ?It defines her objective goal.
In “Edge of Tomorrow”, the Tom Cruise character makes the shocking discovery that his life has been rebooted after being killed on the beach fighting the alien invasion. ?That moment occurs 25 minutes into the film. ?But the discovery makes no sense to him nor the audience — he keeps repeating the invasion, getting killed and resurrected day after day after day.
?At around the 40 minute mark, he finds out what is really going on — ?the story behind the story. ?And the discovery also informs him what he must do to break out of the hellacious cycle ?of fighting and dying, and living again to fight and die another day… and another… and another.
?The discovery determines his objective goal.
So here is a possible logline for the story:
When a ?soldier is killed battling space aliens only to be resurrected to fight and die day after day, he discovers he must fight and die every day until he is skilled enough to defeat the aliens.
(38 words)
Notice that the logline doesn’t hide the discovery. ?Rather, it lays it out for everyone to see.
?Why?
Because it’s the hook. ?It’s ?the “sizzle”, the “secret sauce”. ?It’s what makes the story stand out from all the other movies about unfriendly aliens.
What’s the hook in your story? ?What differentiates it from all the other movies about unfriendly aliens? ?What’s the “sizzle”, the “secret sauce”? ?Whatever it is, it needs to be in the logline.
fwiw
See lessWhen people in town start disappearing, a young orphan woman, searching for her parents is attacked by an alien, she discovers her father’s true origins may not be from earth.
As Richiev said. ?Seems she's got more urgent, immediate issues to deal with than her father's lineage -- like?mere survival.
As Richiev said. ?Seems she’s got more urgent, immediate issues to deal with than her father’s lineage — like?mere survival.
See less