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Selfish athlete learns the importance of humility when he falls for a single mom while rehabbing an injury as his team makes playoff push.
The logline ought to specify? what kind of athlete he is, whether he plays football, basketball... or?Also loglines are about? what a protagonist objectively wants , not? what he subjectively needs.And as framed the logline highlights? a story about a relationship.? Relationships are usually a "B" sRead more
The logline ought to specify? what kind of athlete he is, whether he plays football, basketball… or?
Also loglines are about? what a protagonist objectively wants , not? what he subjectively needs.
And as framed the logline highlights? a story about a relationship.? Relationships are usually a “B” story that run in tandem with and complement the “A” story.? And the “A” story is about action.? The “B” story focuses on relationship.? Loglines are about the “A” story, not the “B” story.
Further, a logline should contain one dramatic problem.? This one has two:? 1] he’s in rehab when his team needs him most, for the playoffs. 2] He falls in love with a single mom.? Well, which one is the more important?? What is the story really, really about?
Come to think about it:? why does the story require a sports injury for him to become romantically involved with a single mom?? Couldn’t their lives intersect in some other plausible way that would complicate his need to focus on his game to fulfill his dream of winning a championship season?
See lessAfter trapping himself in an alternate universe, a Mage and his split consciousness must commune with the common realm to defeat the dark forces that threaten their existence.
Castler Media:Thank you for clarifying your intentions and expectations. ? May your story? do well in Asian markets. I evaluate loglines in terms of the US market, the one I am most familiar with.? And it is a different market.In turn, I wold like to clarify that I'm not one to cleave to a dramaticRead more
Castler Media:
Thank you for clarifying your intentions and expectations. ? May your story? do well in Asian markets. I evaluate loglines in terms of the US market, the one I am most familiar with.? And it is a different market.
In turn, I wold like to clarify that I’m not one to cleave to a dramatic precept just because “that is the way it has always been done” or because self-anointed? gurus say so. ? For me, an appeal to tradition or authority is a good reason to question a rule.? Which I have certainly done with the “one objective goal per story” rule.? I have concluded there are sound psychological reasons that explain its? universality.? It works.
See lessWhen an attention seeking YouTube prankster is assaulted and left financially debilitated, he uses his pranking skills to blackmail the crazy scammer, but must survive a dark murderous world where responsibility lacks in a similar way to his pranking.
"Financially debilitated" is awkward. ?He's unemployed and broke, right?Also, first you say he is assaulted then that he's going to blackmail the perp, a ?crazy scammer. ?Well, which is it? ?Was he assaulted or scammed? ?Who is his antagonist?And please clarify "YouTube prankster". ?What does that mRead more
“Financially debilitated” is awkward. ?He’s unemployed and broke, right?
Also, first you say he is assaulted then that he’s going to blackmail the perp, a ?crazy scammer. ?Well, which is it? ?Was he assaulted or scammed? ?Who is his antagonist?
And please clarify “YouTube prankster”. ?What does that mean? ?That he posts videos of real-life situations where innocent, unsuspecting victims get punk’d? ?If that is the case, it’s kind of hard to sympathize with him. ?Seems like he got some “street justice” for the way he treated others. ?He’s sort of a tepid anti-hero character.
Also, his motivation is a “selfie” : ?he’s only acting for his own narrow?interests. ?While getting revenge is a reliable motive, usually a protagonist ?who starts out as an anti-hero redeems himself by acting for a principled reason, too, for something other than his selfish self, ?say for a stakes character who has likewise been victimized by the antagonist.
fwiw
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