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Seven art students, attempting to survive in a luxurious art museum while humanity ends, find that life continues in astonishing ways.
It's an interesting set up for a comedy sketch. ?But I think it's short on some specific elements for a full-fledged movie. Casting the story with an ensembles where there are many characters but no real "main character" might work for the designated genre because comedy depends so much on the interRead more
It’s an interesting set up for a comedy sketch. ?But I think it’s short on some specific elements for a full-fledged movie.
Casting the story with an ensembles where there are many characters but no real “main character” might work for the designated genre because comedy depends so much on the interplay of relationships. ? But, then again, it may not.
How many story threads are there? ?What’s the “A” story line and who gets tagged as the main characters in it? ?What’s the complementary “B” story line?
Other than mere survival, do they have an immediate and urgent objective goal? ?Is there any dramatic problem that demands action? ?Or do they just need to hunker down, hang out and wait until… whatever? ?Is there a ticking clock?
“Find that life continues in ?astonishing ways” is rather vague. ?And further ?loglines are about actions characters must take, not epiphanies they [finally] have.
See lessAfter a vampire-supremacist wages a war to enslave humanity, his lieutenant, determined to stop him, partners with a celebrated vampire baroness to sabotage his faction through assassination, terrorism, and subterfuge.
Clearer.But it's not clear that any of them are fighting for the benefit of humanity. ?Who after all are the viewing audience.It wouldn't matter if the film were like "Interview with a Vampire" ?where people are just occasional sources of food and a supply pool for new recruits. ? But in your story,Read more
Clearer.
But it’s not clear that any of them are fighting for the benefit of humanity. ?Who after all are the viewing audience.
It wouldn’t matter if the film were like “Interview with a Vampire” ?where people are just occasional sources of food and a supply pool for new recruits. ? But in your story, the fate of the entire human race is at stake. And none of the 3 characters seem to be on their side, which is to say our side. ? They just seem to be fighting among themselves for power and whatever else vampires are in the habit of fighting for.
?
Consequently, there doesn’t seem to be any character for an audience of homo sapiens to identify with or root for.
Why would I — or any other homo sapiens — want to care about who wins or loses, about the fate of anyone of these vampires? What’s in it for non-bloodsucking people?
fwiw
See lessA grieving 12 year old boy must navigate between his physical and fantasy worlds, battling fears and doubts to uncover the origins of a mysterious dagger. This journey will test the truths of who he is and who he is to become.
Have you considered framing the story such that ?when the boy handles the dagger, he has an intense vision of a place (say a mountain?) he's never seen. ?No one else who handles the dagger has that vision. ?It even takes root in his dreams.IOW: the dagger inspires/incites him to go on a vision questRead more
Have you considered framing the story such that ?when the boy handles the dagger, he has an intense vision of a place (say a mountain?) he’s never seen. ?No one else who handles the dagger has that vision. ?It even takes root in his dreams.
IOW: the dagger inspires/incites him to go on a vision quest. ?That, it seems to me, is ?a positive, more compelling spin than “opening up a fantasy world” as it invokes the prospect of an archetypal Hero’s Journey. ?And he is essentially going on a Hero’s Journey–isn’t he? ?And isn’t the Hero’s Journey intrinsically a call to adventure — to heroism?
?(I presume you are familiar with the paradigm of the Hero’s Journey through Joseph Campbell and Christopher Vogler.)
“reclaiming his spirit of heroism”. ?IMHO: ?heavy existential baggage to lay on a ?pre-adolescent. Isn’t he a too young to have developed a spirit of heroism… to even lose it… so he as to reclaim it? ?He’s only 12 years old! ?On the cusp of adolescence when his body mind and life are about to explode with new potentialities.
Seems to me what lays before him is not reclaiming heroism — but discovering it for the first time.
And discovering is forward looking. ?In contrast, recovering gives me a sense of the boy looking backward, ?a rear view of his life. ?Again, at his age, how much is there for him to see in the rear mirror view of his brief life that he needs to recover? ?
It seems to me this plot, like his life, needs to be lived looking forward.
fwiw.
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