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  1. Posted: June 5, 2016In: Thriller

    When a flippant prankster is ripped off by crazy scammer he seeks compensation but inadvertently starts a relationship with the scammer?s even crazier assistant.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 6, 2016 at 12:04 am

    As the others said. And does "start a relationship" ?means he falls in love? ?Whatever, it's a detour from his objective goal -- which is okay for a complication in the story, but the relationship story is usually the "B" story in a script while a logline ?is only about the "A" story, the protagonisRead more

    As the others said.

    And does “start a relationship” ?means he falls in love? ?Whatever, it’s a detour from his objective goal — which is okay for a complication in the story, but the relationship story is usually the “B” story in a script while a logline ?is only about the “A” story, the protagonist’s objective goal in opposition to the antagonist.

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  2. Posted: June 5, 2016In: Crime

    When a gang member triumphs murder charges in his grandson’s death several times, a retired mob boss declares war against a young and powerful gang leader for control over the city’s corrupt legal system.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 5, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    As FFF said, the wording is confusing. ?Who is the protagonist? ?Who is the antagonist? ? And what does "triumph murder charges" mean?

    As FFF said, the wording is confusing. ?Who is the protagonist? ?Who is the antagonist? ? And what does “triumph murder charges” mean?

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  3. Posted: June 5, 2016In: Fantasy

    A grieving 12 year old boy must navigate between his physical and fantasy worlds, battling fears and doubts to uncover the origins of a mysterious dagger. This journey will test the truths of who he is and who he is to become.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 5, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    Looking for clarification of the premise:What is so mysterious about the dagger that it motivates the boy to undertake the quest?What's at stake? ?What does he stand to lose if he doesn't go on his quest?Who/what opposes his quest? Who/what must he defy to find the answers he is looking for?Is thereRead more

    Looking for clarification of the premise:

    What is so mysterious about the dagger that it motivates the boy to undertake the quest?

    What’s at stake? ?What does he stand to lose if he doesn’t go on his quest?

    Who/what opposes his quest? Who/what must he defy to find the answers he is looking for?

    Is there a rival who wants to possess the dagger? ?Or to phrase it another way, ?is the dagger a “McGuffin”, ?an object that all the principals want?

    What is the inciting incident that starts him on his journey? ?(Even though the concept is for a series, there’s got to be an inciting incident in the pilot episode that kicks of the quest. ?And the logline ?should focus on the pilot script because if a producer is ?interested in the concept, he’ll want to see a script as a proof of concept.)

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