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Less than a year after being raped by her owner, a 14-year-old slave girl is a reluctant mother to an infant. When given the opportunity to escape, she’s forced to either bond with the child, or abandon it in the desert.
Given the opportunity to escape? That can be reworked. Less than a year after the rape, would make it a newborn, not a child. I can't see where a mother has a huge process to bond with an infant less than 3 months old. Either take care of it or don't. Where is the rest of the story coming from?
Given the opportunity to escape? That can be reworked. Less than a year after the rape, would make it a newborn, not a child. I can’t see where a mother has a huge process to bond with an infant less than 3 months old. Either take care of it or don’t. Where is the rest of the story coming from?
See lessan uber driver struggles to survive after he picked up a judge who followed by a terrorist wanted to kill him.
unfortunately, just mentioning your protagonist as an "uber driver" may sound like a good character, it really is only a taxi driver. What else about this guy can we relate to? Does he need to uber to keep from going homeless or something? Terrorists seek revenge on a judge and his uber driver as thRead more
unfortunately, just mentioning your protagonist as an “uber driver” may sound like a good character, it really is only a taxi driver. What else about this guy can we relate to? Does he need to uber to keep from going homeless or something?
Terrorists seek revenge on a judge and his uber driver as they pursue them… (where, how, something interesting)
See lessAlso, what about this driver makes him somewhat qualified to battle terrorists?
3rd attempt (thank you for the reviews so far!) A carefree rebellious writer?s life turns upside down when his long lost friend crashes at his place for a month, depressed and suicidal. The friend goes missing after a month, leaving behind an email to the writer?s inbox : his suicide note. The writer vows to stop him from taking his own life, and reunite him with his separated daughter.
I believe that you are still not writing this properly. What you have here is more of a pitch than a hook (or a log) and you need to zero in on 1-2 sentences, perferably 1, and lock the reader into your story. It's like the quick passover on the channel listings on tv, before you hit the info buttonRead more
I believe that you are still not writing this properly. What you have here is more of a pitch than a hook (or a log) and you need to zero in on 1-2 sentences, perferably 1, and lock the reader into your story.
It’s like the quick passover on the channel listings on tv, before you hit the info button to get even more of a story paragraph.
See less