1. Posted: May 20, 2015In:

    Short Film: After the Sun went out, the earth became a cold, dangerous and dark place and people avoid leaving the house in fear of the temperature, murderers and lack of oxygen. When a young girl, depressed by her parents disappearance, realizes her little sister has left, she must go out and find her before it's too late.

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    Nir Shelter, I agree with you. So what do you think of this log line: "In a dark and dangerous world with no sun and most of the people gone, a terrified young girl must find her sister before she dies from the cold, lack of oxygen or gets killed by survivors gone mad" Also, just for argument's sakeRead more

    Nir Shelter, I agree with you.

    So what do you think of this log line:

    “In a dark and dangerous world with no sun and most of the people gone, a terrified young girl must find her sister before she dies from the cold, lack of oxygen or gets killed by survivors gone mad”

    Also, just for argument’s sake, how could I, in your opinion, transform this so as to maintain depression as a flaw ?

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  2. Posted: May 20, 2015In:

    Short Film: After the Sun went out, the earth became a cold, dangerous and dark place and people avoid leaving the house in fear of the temperature, murderers and lack of oxygen. When a young girl, depressed by her parents disappearance, realizes her little sister has left, she must go out and find her before it's too late.

    gmffr Logliner

    Thank you for your comments. I've been reading about this possibility of the sun going out, and I'm not trying to start a fight here, but I've found that some experts say mankind would disappear when that started to happen, while others state that people could survive for a few weeks or months (evenRead more

    Thank you for your comments.

    I’ve been reading about this possibility of the sun going out, and I’m not trying to start a fight here, but I’ve found that some experts say mankind would disappear when that started to happen, while others state that people could survive for a few weeks or months (even longer if they got into a submarine that would lead them somewhere closer to the earth’s core or to a place where they could use geothermal energy).

    Either way, I would argue that this would not be a film about the sun going out, rather a film about a young girl looking for her sister in a world where there is no more sun and with the certainty of death because of it.

    I believe that if the story about the girl is strong enough, it will not matter if things are possible or not.

    So, regarding the story, these would be the elements:

    Main Character: Young girl
    Flaw: Depressed and afraid
    Dilemma: To stay home in safety or to go out and find her sister
    Goal: To find her sister
    Antagonist: The environment (darkness, cold temperatures, lack of oxygen)
    Obstacles: Lack of food, murderers, religious sun fanatics
    Inner Journey: Going from afraid, depressed and lonely to brave and valuing the people she still has.

    What do you think ?

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  3. Posted: February 5, 2015In:

    A 45 year old poor family man is diagnosed with a leg disease for which he will need surgery and afterwards 3 months of rest. He must now choose between getting the surgery or keeping his job as a night guard to support his family.

    gmffr Logliner

    Thank you for your comment, it gave me a whole different perspective on things. Do you have any ideas on how to raise the stakes ? Do you think it's possible by changing one of its parts or should I just change the whole dilemma ? I should say that I am trying to write a short film, so I don't needRead more

    Thank you for your comment, it gave me a whole different perspective on things.

    Do you have any ideas on how to raise the stakes ? Do you think it’s possible by changing one of its parts or should I just change the whole dilemma ?

    I should say that I am trying to write a short film, so I don’t need to have a story for 110 pages.

    How about this:

    “A week after having leg surgery for which he would need 3 months rest, a 45 year old poor night guard returns to work in order to not loose his job and keep providing for his family. He encounters a group of burglars in a building garage and is unable to stop them.”

    Here, his goal would be to keep his job, and the way he would do it would be by running after the burglars.

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