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When his gay cruise ship is invaded by terrorists, a veteran turned drag queen must use his skills to take down the thugs and save the day.
'Take down the thugs and save the day', this sounds a little too familiar for me, perhaps be more specific on the terrorists intentions and why they are there on the ship. What are these skills you wrote about? Must he utilize both his soldier training, and his skills learned from becoming a drag quRead more
‘Take down the thugs and save the day’, this sounds a little too familiar for me, perhaps be more specific on the terrorists intentions and why they are there on the ship. What are these skills you wrote about? Must he utilize both his soldier training, and his skills learned from becoming a drag queen? ‘Must use his skills’ Why must he? Does he have a lover on the boat? Is he having war flashbacks and his instincts take over? Is he convinced to by others on the ship?
See lessWhen two donors to a rising fascist leader commit suicide, a conspiracy theorist FBI agent must investigate if there is a connection; but when he discovers an elaborate CIA plot to stop the fascist, he must put his country before the law, and protect future targets by killing their leader.
You wrote 'two donors', I don't know what donor means in this case. Perhaps you could elaborate on this. I would delete the 'must investigate if there is a connection', due to the reader already knowing that is what the FBI does. 'Stop the fascist', stop him from what? 'Future targets by killing theRead more
You wrote ‘two donors’, I don’t know what donor means in this case. Perhaps you could elaborate on this. I would delete the ‘must investigate if there is a connection’, due to the reader already knowing that is what the FBI does. ‘Stop the fascist’, stop him from what? ‘Future targets by killing their leader’, leader of what, and who are these targets?
See lessAn alcoholic soldier must face his abusive father and confront his own addictions before he loses his memory.
Why does your soldier character have a time-lock on losing his memory? What's causing his loss of memory? This logline is quite bland, it needs more info on what makes your story different from the rest. I want to know more about the kinds of abuse his father is responsible for, and which war the soRead more
Why does your soldier character have a time-lock on losing his memory? What’s causing his loss of memory? This logline is quite bland, it needs more info on what makes your story different from the rest. I want to know more about the kinds of abuse his father is responsible for, and which war the soldier fought in.
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