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Nearing the end of his parole and looking to put his criminal past behind him, an ex-con?s plans are derailed by the arrival of two former prison buddies, one with a bullet wound and the other with a plan to rob the local bank.
I think this is good - a lot of potential. Maybe you could get more specific than 'arrival'. What does this mean exactly? They come for a visit? To move in with him? This logline is still general enough that the story could go either direction - adventure/thriller - or even potentially comedy? Two pRead more
I think this is good – a lot of potential. Maybe you could get more specific than ‘arrival’. What does this mean exactly? They come for a visit? To move in with him? This logline is still general enough that the story could go either direction – adventure/thriller – or even potentially comedy? Two prison buddies come to crash on his couch and won’t leave as your ex-con tries to get his new business off the ground – a bakery. Get what I mean? I’m not trying to suggest that’s what you should do, just to try to hone it and get more specific. But good job!
See lessWhen Tilly comes home she not only heals her ailing mother, but with her sewing machine, and haute couture style, transforms the women of the town in such a way that she gets sweet revenge on those who did her wrong. She also falls unexpectedly in love, which leads to her greatest loss and her most destructive deed.
I like the premise of the haute couture in a small town - something to work with there, but the rest is too wordy and vague. Who does she fall in love with? Destructive deed? You don't need to explain all that in here, but give us an idea of what the main action in and what kind of obstacles she's uRead more
I like the premise of the haute couture in a small town – something to work with there, but the rest is too wordy and vague. Who does she fall in love with? Destructive deed? You don’t need to explain all that in here, but give us an idea of what the main action in and what kind of obstacles she’s up against.
See lessDr. Caitlin Steele is a relationship phobic, yet successful NYC sex therapist who is hired as a consultant to treat a League One London football club in the wake of recent scandals. Sparks fly when she meets team captain and womanizer, Ray Brunner, intent on bringing his club to a long awaited championship before his retirement and who wants nothing to do with an American therapist on his turf.
(Sorry, just realized I shouldn't have included their names, but I'm finding you can't edit these once they're posted, right?? ~cheers)
(Sorry, just realized I shouldn’t have included their names, but I’m finding you can’t edit these once they’re posted, right?? ~cheers)
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