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After he loses all his money in the stock market and Las Vegas, a successful financial advisor has an opportunity to get out of debt—if he facilitates the takeover and dismantling of a friend’s family business.
Dilemma 2 requires the same gravity/answer for Dilemma 1 “bankruptcy”. This has to be his biggest score; thus “a sizable fee” won’t cut it. Also, bring this closer to the home concerning whom he screws over. In its current form, it sounds like a friend of a friend situation which lessens the impact.Read more
Dilemma 2 requires the same gravity/answer for Dilemma 1 “bankruptcy”. This has to be his biggest score; thus “a sizable fee” won’t cut it. Also, bring this closer to the home concerning whom he screws over. In its current form, it sounds like a friend of a friend situation which lessens the impact. Add connecting tissue between what he’s good at and his friend’s “business.”
Your major event “When his high-risk…” is good, also consider “risky schemes” as an alternative.
Example:
“A destitute financial advisor must choose between bankruptcy and fleecing his best friend’s firm”
Industry examples:
“A spoiled rich twentysomething must decide between true love and the vast fortune he’ll inherit if he marries a society woman whom he doesn’t love.”
“After ten years on the run from the mob, the son of a mob lawyer must choose between prison and helping the man who killed his mother.”
“A paraplegic marine dispatched to the moon Pandora on a unique mission becomes torn between following his orders and protecting the world he feels is his home.”
BTW: I don’t normally add “his, hers” pronouns in the major event as we the reader are left in the shadows concerning whom you’re talking about – until the action/goal. I always try to challenge myself to construct the logline in a way to bypass.
Take care.
See lessAfter he loses all his money in the stock market and Las Vegas, a successful financial advisor has an opportunity to get out of debt—if he facilitates the takeover and dismantling of a friend’s family business.
Leaning towards: “A bankrupt financial advisor [gambler] must choose between [dilemma 1] and [dilemma 2]” Make this yours, keep going! BTW: I wouldn’t call a financial advisor who went belly-up “successful.”
Leaning towards:
See less“A bankrupt financial advisor [gambler] must choose between [dilemma 1] and [dilemma 2]”
Make this yours, keep going!
BTW: I wouldn’t call a financial advisor who went belly-up “successful.”
When a hardnose PR exec is hired by a company to pitch the takeover of her financially-strapped former hometown – nicknamed for its law to not openly celebrate Christmas – she must grapple with her painful past, a city manager who wants to save the town’s independence, and whether she still believes in the spirit of the season.
Dig it, but a company taking over a town? Is she an exec for a big-box store that seeks to take over their primary source of income?
Dig it, but a company taking over a town? Is she an exec for a big-box store that seeks to take over their primary source of income?
See less