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A boy whose family was brutally murdered joins a squad of bounty hunters squad to free a community of women and children victims of a gang dedicated to making snuff movies.
Brutal premise – dig it. This version directly ties the filmed murder of his fam to the gang. “An orphaned boy joins a squad of zealous bounty hunters in order to seek revenge for the murder of his family by a vicious snuff film gang” Hope you find this constructive, take care.
Brutal premise – dig it. This version directly ties the filmed murder of his fam to the gang.
“An orphaned boy joins a squad of zealous bounty hunters in order to seek revenge for the murder of his family by a vicious snuff film gang”
Hope you find this constructive, take care.
See lessWhen an Earth colony ship teacher discovers his government is hiding information and executing it’s citizens, he must find a way to hide from the governments watchful eyes and rebel; but when his friends are captured he must find a way to overthrow the government to save his friends and free his people.
Thanks for the synopsis, consider the following: 1. A teacher suddenly missing students is a good inciting incident. 2. To keep your protag from having a passive goal e.g., follows rebels, consider adding a rescue mission that is anything but, and the “mission for equality” becomes his arc. 3. GoverRead more
Thanks for the synopsis, consider the following:
1. A teacher suddenly missing students is a good inciting incident.
2. To keep your protag from having a passive goal e.g., follows rebels, consider adding a rescue mission that is anything but, and the “mission for equality” becomes his arc.
3. Governments are big and vague, if keeping in the logline, try focusing the mission against one e.g., benevolent leader 😉 ~ Fallout game reference.
Based on your synopsis, I can glean the following – make these yours:
“Set on an Earth colony ship in a dystopian future, a loyalist teacher’s rescue mission to recover missing activist students turns into a quest for equality”
OR
“When radicalized students go missing, a loyalist teacher on an Earth colony ship sets out to …“
BTW, love the twist – they’re not actually in space!
Keep going, take care.
See lessAfter believing that his son is possessed, a former sinful man learns that the spirit is son’s mother whom the man had shot dead a few years ago and she wants revenge
This gives me a “What Lies Beneath” vibe - action via the (protag) possessed wife. Consider rearranging your logline to show from the possessed son's POV and keep the how and who is possessing him as part of your plot twists. Keep going!
This gives me a “What Lies Beneath” vibe – action via the (protag) possessed wife. Consider rearranging your logline to show from the possessed son’s POV and keep the how and who is possessing him as part of your plot twists.
Keep going!
See less