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  1. Posted: April 20, 2018In: SciFi

    Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

    Jessie Samurai
    Added an answer on April 21, 2018 at 6:57 pm

    Let me try and approach it analytically Protagonist: scatterbrained genius time travel expert Inciting incident: a deadline to keep their project/retrieve the stranded time traveller Action 1: meet the deadline Antagonist: the chairman Mid point: learning their timeline has been sabotaged AntagonistRead more

    Let me try and approach it analytically

    Protagonist: scatterbrained genius time travel expert

    Inciting incident: a deadline to keep their project/retrieve the stranded time traveller

    Action 1: meet the deadline

    Antagonist: the chairman

    Mid point: learning their timeline has been sabotaged

    Antagonist 2: unknown entity

    Obstacles 2: their tech is down for now, they are fired from the project, key persons (husband and another key scientist) are quarrelsome/ apathetic, protagonist is disheartened.

    Action 2: overcome differences to find a possible solution.

    All is lost moment: the only person they can send back in time will be erased from existence any moment. The only approach that could work will kill them, but if the past was changed, this never happened anyway.

    End: she wins the faith of her husband and her crew, they ?mutiny? to get hold of the tech and they go for it.

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  2. Posted: April 20, 2018In: Drama

    After 15years of running and keeping it a secret, a woman is forced to face her abuser when the love of her life leaves her. Will she be able to, to save her relationship?

    Jessie Samurai
    Added an answer on April 21, 2018 at 8:52 am

    I?d like to see what happens next. This is only ever a first step. She builds up the courage and strength to confront the past, which starts the flow of emotions and so on as part of the healing. What help will she elicit? What therapy? Does she have a task where that turmoil becomes a hindrance?AsRead more

    I?d like to see what happens next. This is only ever a first step. She builds up the courage and strength to confront the past, which starts the flow of emotions and so on as part of the healing. What help will she elicit? What therapy? Does she have a task where that turmoil becomes a hindrance?

    As it stands the story sounds heartbreaking as well. Her promising relationship is probably lost ( makes me doubt the boyfriend’s sincerity to be honest), I?m assuming because she?s too haunted to have one, and at the end of the movie, she expresses her feelings, which is therapeutic, but to a person to whom she?s clearly just an object. What is achieved other than a first step? An important step, but there?s a lot of journey. The injury will persist, no other progress has been made, the perpetrator runs free. If that’s the end of the story, I’d be rather depressed. She’s come this far, and now what? Unless you wish to elicit that kind of response, by stopping the story at that point.

    Now, as an opening scene, a shot of just her speaking up, then a reveal she?s in a therapist office talking to?her father in her imagination?(which would indeed be helpful) that?could be really interesting.
    And then a journey of healing with a twist. Maybe. Is the trying to set a rockclimbing record while haunted by flashbacks? Is she immersing herself in Tibetan Buddhist culture in actual Tibet? Does her boyfriend turn out to be a jerk too? Does she need to save somebody else? And that?s why she speaks up?

    I think the rest of the audience would also enjoy a full character healing story, especially, if you get a consultant for the long therapy journey in. You may be covering different years. The question remains: What would set your story apart? It would be so interesting if she ended up with an Olympic gold medal or so, having chosen triathlon to aid her recovery. Even more satisfying if the perpetrator was locked away. Or the court cases as an additional storyline.

    I mean, I think you?ve potentially got something here, but you?ve only written the intro so far.

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  3. Posted: April 19, 2018In: SciFi

    After losing his captcha, a tone deaf scientist must prove himself human in a music duel, or slave his life in an AI camp

    Jessie Samurai
    Added an answer on April 21, 2018 at 12:51 am

    I think, if you go ahead with this project, it would be good to get a consultant in. An expert on current AI with a good prognosis of how they?ll work in the future. With my limited understanding of this kind of science, I wouls assume, what they need to measure, is comprehension beyond what a machiRead more

    I think, if you go ahead with this project, it would be good to get a consultant in. An expert on current AI with a good prognosis of how they?ll work in the future. With my limited understanding of this kind of science, I wouls assume, what they need to measure, is comprehension beyond what a machine can understand and in fact being flawed. A non artificial or purely randomized pattern of flawdness so to speak. Also, may, the ability to create something that a human can appreciate as harmonious better than an AI… which i where his tone deafness would make things interesting. (I?m better at getting characters into trouble than out lol)

    Just wondering, is the AI in your world self-conscious? Would that be a game changer? Maybe an additional inner-journey or even deciding to free all those artificial ?people??

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