1. Posted: May 31, 2022In:

    In the aftermath of a nuclear war, a young man must defend his town from an alien invasion before they can destroy everything that remains of his life.

    JTDallas Penpusher

    I agree. Now for the adjective: The young man is resistant to using his father's gun to defend his family. He's a pacifist, but "a pacifist young man" seems flat. He does have to be forced into fighting, maybe "peace-loving?" Thanks for reviewing. Justin (JTDallas)

    I agree. Now for the adjective: The young man is resistant to using his father’s gun to defend his family. He’s a pacifist, but “a pacifist young man” seems flat. He does have to be forced into fighting, maybe “peace-loving?”

    Thanks for reviewing.
    Justin (JTDallas)

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  2. Posted: April 21, 2022In:

    After an American ambassador discovers he fathered a child in Mexico twelve years ago, he and his son’s gay adoptive parents must rescue him from the clutches of a ruthless drug lord who also claims to be the boy’s father before the child succumbs to a life-threatening disease.

    JTDallas Penpusher

    Yes. I think the title needs reworking. The original concept centered on the Jewish ambassador's marriage to a gentile woman, which is just a bit of exposition in the final story. I like your suggestion of "Mission Improbable." I'll be considering it as I move closer to shopping it.

    Yes. I think the title needs reworking. The original concept centered on the Jewish ambassador’s marriage to a gentile woman, which is just a bit of exposition in the final story. I like your suggestion of “Mission Improbable.” I’ll be considering it as I move closer to shopping it.

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  3. Posted: May 29, 2022In:

    A real estate agent trying to reconnect with his estranged sister, learns that she is the leader of an underground society of clowns caught in a civil war of ideals. Now he must choose whether to get her out of the life, or suit up in pancake makeup of his own.

    JTDallas Penpusher

    This could be intriguing. But before I would review the logline or offer suggestions, I have one question: Why is he a real estate agent? How will that add to his story?

    This could be intriguing. But before I would review the logline or offer suggestions, I have one question: Why is he a real estate agent? How will that add to his story?

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