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A high-end thief must execute an impossible heist to prove she didn’t murder her entire team before her crime boss father hunts her down.
Odie, thanks for taking the time! I'm not sure if either of those questions needs to be answered in the logline. I think the fact that you're asking the questions indicated that I've delivered enough of a hook to get you to go and see it ha..maybe. If I answer the first question we are looking at unRead more
Odie, thanks for taking the time! I’m not sure if either of those questions needs to be answered in the logline. I think the fact that you’re asking the questions indicated that I’ve delivered enough of a hook to get you to go and see it ha..maybe. If I answer the first question we are looking at unraveling a complex plot point and I answer the second I’m delivering too much detail. All this said I will go away and think about how it might look with those questions answered. Thanks again.
See lessThey were enemies on the cricket grounds before war breaks out but now they face a common enemy in Malaya. They have to defend a bridge that would prevent the Japanese army reaching Singapore. An impossible task that creates the first heroes and martyrs of the Pacific War.
Anwardi, nice work. Let's break this down from 48 words to 30ish. We need The Big Three – the hero, goal, and problem of your story and genre. Two rivals on the cricket field are conscripted to fight in the Pacific War where they must defend a bridge to prevent the Japanese army from reaching SingapRead more
Anwardi, nice work. Let’s break this down from 48 words to 30ish. We need The Big Three – the hero, goal, and problem of your story and genre.
Two rivals on the cricket field are conscripted to fight in the Pacific War where they must defend a bridge to prevent the Japanese army from reaching Singapore.
I’m not saying this is the one to use but it’s the same as yours just in 28 words and it doesn’t give away the ending. The stakes are good and the genre is clear. It’s just my quick thoughts so keep working on it. I hope you get it made, I’ll go watch it!
See lessAn estranged couple begrudgingly accepts a mission to rescue an atheist with the hopes for reconciliation, but in Hell nothing but hate can survive.
Hey Chris! Let's get stuck in here. There is an interesting element here but it's messy. Let's break this down by asking a bunch of questions to answer The Big Three – the hero, goal, and problem; 1) Hero/heros? "estranged couple" Okay, I've got that. Could use a little more but I'm happy to buy intRead more
Hey Chris! Let’s get stuck in here. There is an interesting element here but it’s messy. Let’s break this down by asking a bunch of questions to answer The Big Three – the hero, goal, and problem;
1) Hero/heros? “estranged couple” Okay, I’ve got that. Could use a little more but I’m happy to buy into it.
2) Goal? “rescue an atheist with the hopes for reconciliation” This could be written a little better. I love “rescue an atheist” as a Catholic myself I find that a brilliant perspective shift, kinda like The Screwtape Letters. “hopes” isn’t strong enough. This fella needs to be on the verge of converting.
3) Problem (insert states)? “but in Hell, nothing but hate can survive.” This is confusing, where is this film set? If it’s on Earth then why do we care about the state of Hell? Also, when it comes to Hell, we all get the picture that Hell is a shitty place and its full of hate and fire bla bla bla so you probably don’t need to note any of that. What happens if they don’t work as a team? If this particular guy/gal turns to the ‘dark’ side (I’m assuming God is the dark side from their POV haha) then he is going to bring heaps of souls with him? Why does the devil need this particular soul and what is at stake for this particular couple if they fail?
I hope this help. Keep up the good work and I hope you get this made.
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