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  1. Posted: May 7, 2016In: Examples

    When a pawn store robbery turns deadly, a Hollywood stunt driver finds himself in possession of the loot, and must destroy the violent goons who want it back. [Drive, 2011]

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on May 7, 2016 at 1:09 pm

    A film that's always in my mind. FWIW, it started out as a neo noir book, which now has an fantastic sequel likely as a result of the film. There's a comic series too which is based on the books and the film. This movie is all about tone, so I figured that was crucial for the logline hence the use oRead more

    A film that’s always in my mind.
    FWIW, it started out as a neo noir book, which now has an fantastic sequel likely as a result of the film. There’s a comic series too which is based on the books and the film.

    This movie is all about tone, so I figured that was crucial for the logline hence the use of colloquial words such as “goons” and “loot”, at least that’s how I feel money and the bad guys are treated in the film.

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  2. Posted: May 5, 2016In: Family

    When a local library begins shredding it’s books due to the popularity of e-readers, a limited edition copy of Macbeth must lead his Shakespearean archive to safety at the National Archive before they’re shredded too.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on May 7, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    I'd try not to use the word archive twice. i really like this premise, it feels that since MC is limited edition he feels he's entitled to lead the pack.

    I’d try not to use the word archive twice. i really like this premise, it feels that since MC is limited edition he feels he’s entitled to lead the pack.

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  3. Posted: May 2, 2016In: Examples

    After an unemployed single dad loses his home, he struggles to get it back by working for the corrupt real estate broker who evicted him.

    Karel Segers Logliner
    Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    I would rephrase it a bit. "When an unemployed single dad has his home foreclosed, he must work for the real estate broker who evicted him in order to gain back his house." Something like that, "he struggles" sounds off to me. I liked the film, nothing more. It's nice to see Florida on screen.

    I would rephrase it a bit.
    “When an unemployed single dad has his home foreclosed, he must work for the real estate broker who evicted him in order to gain back his house.”
    Something like that, “he struggles” sounds off to me.
    I liked the film, nothing more. It’s nice to see Florida on screen.

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