1. Posted: May 3, 2016In:

    After being pressured by the cops to turn informant a teen is sent on a run by her drug dealer boss, who is holding her younger sister, knowing this run will get her killed.

    Best Answer
    Karel Segers Logliner

    Logline really confused me. I don't know why her knowing a piece of information wold get her killed.

    Logline really confused me. I don’t know why her knowing a piece of information wold get her killed.

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  2. Posted: May 4, 2016In:

    When a secret society of intellectual samurai compromise a tech company’s financial software, a psychic strategist must decode an ancient work of popular Japanese fiction before the global economy collapses.

    Karel Segers Logliner

    I find it best not to have two complicated elements in your log line. You have "intellectual samurai's" and "psychic strategist." This sounds like a comic book adaptation where there's already a pool of fans who know and understand the premise and character's, and will willingly jump into the movie.Read more

    I find it best not to have two complicated elements in your log line. You have “intellectual samurai’s” and “psychic strategist.” This sounds like a comic book adaptation where there’s already a pool of fans who know and understand the premise and character’s, and will willingly jump into the movie.

    It takes work to decipher the character descriptions you have, don’t make us work 🙂 simplify, try making the roles unique, but simple.

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2016In:

    When one of his tenants is found murdered, a young and na?ve landlord must find a killer lurking in a secret part of the building, or risk bankruptcy.

    Karel Segers Logliner

    I'm also wondering if the stakes are pretty much implied inside the action: EDIT "When one of his tenants are found murdered, a young landlord must eliminate a killer lurking in a secret part of the building."

    I’m also wondering if the stakes are pretty much implied inside the action:

    EDIT “When one of his tenants are found murdered, a young landlord must eliminate a killer lurking in a secret part of the building.”

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