The town name Highsdale isn’t necessary because the name alone adds nothing to the overall setting description. Think of it as a character name, so try writing it as “an [adjective] town”?like you would with a character description.

(Keep in mind that names in loglines are highly frowned upon. This being said however I think you may have found an exception to this rule, I’ll get back to this later.)

The word “teenage” in the protagonist’s description is unnecessary because you can still get his/her youth across with the words “high school student”. Also could you perhaps clarify your protagonist’s gender with a “his” or “her” somewhere. Might make your character seem have a bit more presence in the story.

“Demonic visitors”, “mysterious Hellgate”, “malevolent evil”, “hellish apocalypse”. There’s too much repetition regarding your antagonistic force and this undermines your actual antagonists, the Huntresses, who sound far more interesting in name alone. Remember when I mentioned the exception to the rule? Well the Huntresses is perhaps just that, but I must make it clear that just because I like the Huntresses’ name doesn’t mean everyone else will, so you need to be smart as to how you use their name. I recommend turning the name into a noun. In doing this you’ve changed a name into a title (so that “Huntresses” would appear as “huntresses”) but this is ultimately up to you to decide.

Reads in a very conflicting manner making for a huge disconnect between you and your intended audience.

Protagonist is literally a “she.” The ex-convict character comes out of nowhere and in general, there are way too many characters with none of them feeling realised. Come to think of it they’re barely even summarised at this point.

When a [what] ex-criminal’s former boss recruits … [rewrite logline from here on in].

Be sure to include the protagonist’s Goal, their Obstacle and the Stakes should the protagonist fail. Currently you have got a protagonist that appears to be taking a back seat when the ex-convict character turns up. In the re-write make sure the protagonist is taking action so we have a reason to get a bit more emotionally invested into their predicament.

Try to limit the character count to a maximum of three, protagonist, antagonist and stakes character. These roles need to be clear in oder to be most effective.